


Distance Crossed

by Redleafmornings



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Armitage Hux, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Bonding, Canon-Typical Violence, Huddling For Warmth, Knotting, Lovers to enemies to lovers, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, Mutual Pining, Omega Kylo Ren, Omega Verse, Pining, persistent courting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-01-23 10:22:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 37,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18547867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redleafmornings/pseuds/Redleafmornings
Summary: Tradition has always choked omega Ben Organa, making him feel like an outsider in his own skin. But in his attempt to escape it he is able to find both freedom and a place to belong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For boredbyreality the wonderful artist I was paired up with, who has been nothing but patient and supportive as I worked on this story! Thank you for being with me on this journey and helping me shape this world! Please visit his awesome [ tumblr ](%E2%80%9D)
> 
> Also I would like to thank Pandalolli for editing this fic for me, and helping me become a better writer!

Ben had a sick feeling in his stomach ever since his first heat. His mom had talked about this day arriving, and he already knew what she wanted for him. She wanted to give him the Alderaan lifestyle that she had lost.

He’d been told it was easier to go through a heat if you had a mate, even if you didn’t breed with them. Leia had told him all about how on Alderaan the omegas would pick their mate after their first heat, and then would go through a full bonding ceremony on their twentieth birthday. Sometimes she talked about how she had been the alpha standing there hoping she would be picked. She never had, and then shortly after she had lost her planet.

Ben always felt the weight in the loss. As much as he wanted to do something to help, this wasn’t an option he was willing to entertain.

Since his heat ended he tried to hide away in his room, hoping that Leia would forget and he could just be alone a little longer. His life was filled with pressure: his parents were the saviors of the republic, his mother was a politician, his uncle a famous Jedi...every time he was dragged along with one of them he would hear about what was expected from him. All he wanted was to be left alone, he didn’t care about his powers or connections to fame.

He liked the days when he was alone with the kitchen droid and they would cook side by side. It felt easier to be with droids. They didn’t harbor grandiose expectations.

There was a knock on his door and Ben rolled over and sat up on his bed.

“Hey kid, wanna let me in?”

Ben perked up. He hadn’t seen his father in months, and as much as he wanted to hide a little longer, the excitement over Han’s return won out. At some point in the back of his mind he knew there would be disappointment when he left again, knowing that he would almost always be left behind. Ben tried to keep that out of his thoughts.

He pulled on a robe and unlocked the door.

Ben settled himself back on the bed with a book, one of the few paper ones he could get his hands on, in the hopes that it wouldn’t look like he was sulking in his room.

“You’re back.”

His voice sounded half as hopeful as he felt, but the rest of Ben had gotten used to being left behind. Ben would just have to make the most out of the time they had.

“Yeah, your mom thought it might be good for me to come back.”

Han was the only other omega in the family. It made sense that he would come back to talk to Ben, but it felt uncomfortable.

Han had never been that type of father.

“She told you?”

“I was on my way back anyway.”

“So, she asked you to come and talk me into picking a mate.”

The words were sour with the bitterness he felt over the idea

Han let out a sigh and leaned against the doorframe.

“I know it seems like your mom is trying to push you into this, but she means well.”

Han looked slightly uncomfortable, and Ben felt awkward at his words. They hadn’t had a lot of ‘heart-to-hearts’ since Ben was just a kid.

“She wants to sell me for political clout.”

“That’s not true Ben, and you know it.”

Han paused and walked into the room, sitting on the edge of Ben’s desk.

“She lost all her people when she was hardly older than you, so she took the republic as her people. But then she had you and I think your mom sort of sees this as a way to keep Alderaan traditions alive. She’s lost a lot.”

Ben made a face to show what he thought of that.

“You’re not the one who has to meet a dozen posturing, peacocking alphas and pick one.”

Han gave him a lopsided half smile.

“Look kid, if you don’t like any of them you don’t have to pick any of them. Humour your mom. after you meet them we’ll come right back and have a night in. This means a lot to her.”

Han had a pleading look on his face. Ben wanted to tell him that it wasn’t just one night, that now he was going to have to deal with this once he left again. Ben didn’t know how and it scared him. He wasn’t ready to pick a mate. If he chose the wrong one he would be stuck with them forever, and if he didn’t pick anyone Leia would always be trying to find him someone he liked. It could be years of this torture either way.

Han just didn’t understand. He didn’t bond until he was almost thirty, and he’d been alone, no one pushing him into this next step in life.

“Sure, dad.”

Ben felt choked by the decision already.

That feeling followed him all day, growing as Leia helped him put on his ceremonial outfit. White robes that folded over his chest, and a sheer cape that rested over his shoulders. Over it she placed heavy metallic jewelry. It wasn’t like anything he had ever worn before. Ben was always one for a dark tunic and trousers to hide the dirt that he always got on them.

He’d also never been one for fancy hairstyles. He’s only ever grown out his hair to cover his ears, but Leia managed to get his black tangled mess into more manageable looking curls before carefully setting a headpiece made of delicate metalwork over them.

Although it was almost weightless, it felt like a cage settling over him.

He didn’t like the sight that greeted him when he glanced in the mirror. He didn’t even look like himself. His lanky frame looked falsely delicate in the white robes that his mother had had made for him. And even though his hands looked too big for his body, it was the first time he ever really looked like he could truly fit into the omega stereotype.

He wished his hair was longer and he could hide behind it more. At the moment it hardly covered his ears, which was why he’d grown it out to start with.

The feeling of being trapped only grew worse when they were at the party itself. Being introduced to arrogant young alphas from all backgrounds was tedious. The scents were stronger than he was used to, and it was difficult to keep all their names straight in his head.

They were all children of people his mother knew, but that didn’t help. Ben didn’t really know any of them. Everything smelled too much and everyone stood too close. A few even touched him on the arm as if they were friends, and it was too much for Ben.His skin crawled at each touch.

Ben felt shaky being on view, he’d never liked being the center of this much attention.

Leia was busy with the other politicians, probably talking about him, and so he crept out the back door to catch his breath.

It was just one night like Han had said, and yet he could see time stretching out in front of him. The remainder of his days would be spent either fighting his mother for his freedom, or being put on display like this over and over again until he found a mate.

That thought kept him moving on trembling legs until he saw his mothers speeder. Without a thought he climbed in, and although it took a few minutes he managed to remember what his father had taught him about starting a speeder without the starter key. Machines always seemed to speak to him, and it roared to life in his hands at the first attempt.

The ride home didn’t help settle his nerves much. The robes felt too constricting and the second he was in the door he started taking off the accessories. By the time he was in his room he dumped them on his bed, and started tearing at the white robes. The cape was ripped as it fluttered to the floor and Ben’s hands were shaking as he undid the ties on the robe. The last item was the metal headpiece, and he didn’t spare it the rough treatment either, yanking it off his head. Strands of hair were caught in it, and Ben looked at it all laid out on his bed. He couldn’t do this again and again and again. He needed to get away.

He pulled on a pair of black trousers and a matching tunic and then grabbed his travel bag. He didn’t really think as he quickly packed. Ben didn’t have a plan for what was next or where he was going, but he knew he had to leave.

With a last thought he grabbed the blaster his father had given him for his fifteenth birthday and strapped it onto his leg. Ben felt in control for the first time that day, and he walked out the door with the need to hang onto that feeling.

Although Ben knew he couldn’t truly escape from the responsibility his family put on him without escaping them as well. What he did know was that he could get away, just for long enough to think without the pressure crushing him.

His father being home did mean at least one thing: the Falcon was on the launch pad. And unlike his mother's ship, he could easily bypass the security. It was the first ship he learned to fly on, he could remember being tucked into Chewie’s lap as he watched him co-pilot.

He’d taken it up on his own before, but this was the first time he’d left without asking.

The blast doors opened for him and he looked inside. The old ship was nothing he hadn’t seen a hundred times, but now it looked like freedom. The scents of the alphas were fading, and he was feeling steady in his choice. Ben would come back when he knew what he would do to stop the push for a mate.

The cockpit smelled nostalgic, like a second home, and he felt safer here than he had all night.

Some of his happiest memories were when he was here with his father. Nothing was expected of him when he was in the ship. He was just an ex-smuggler’s son, and that was all he wanted to be.

Ben slipped the bag off his shoulder and into the co-pilot’s seat before seating himself. The ship roared to life under his touch and without a second thought he engaged the thrusters so that the ship lifted up into the air.

“Let’s go, old girl.”

Ben mumbled under his breath.

Things made sense in the pilot’s seat, and he absently flipped through coordinates. His uncle had always talked about being one with the Force, and out in the vast quiet of space Ben could understand what Luke meant. He let his feelings guide him, picking an old outpost his father had taken him to a few times when they had met up with his Uncle Lando.

With a jump into hyperspace he was on his way. It didn’t feel like a long journey, Ben had too much going on in his mind for that.

It wasn’t the type of place that he needed to get landing clearance for, and although landings weren’t his specialty he managed to get the Falcon down in one piece.

Ben took a shaky breath, not sure what to do now that he had arrived. The knot in his stomach was starting to relax and for the first time in the past day he felt hungry. He knew he should let his parents know where he was, but he wasn’t ready for their disappointment yet.

There was an old bar nearby that he remembered. He could get something to eat and maybe spend the night in the Falcon. The plan was starting to form in his mind as he grabbed his bag and walked to the panel in the bulkhead he knew his father used. As expected he found Han’s emergency fund, and he grabbed enough credits for dinner.

The Falcon’s blast doors opened slowly and he was relieved to see that there hadn’t been much change to this place in the last few years. In fact, it was startlingly similar to what he remembered. Like the ship was apart from time, like it never aged.

It was only a short walk to the bar, a run down place that wouldn’t care about his ID. When he walked in he was glad that although it looked rough, it smelled clean. A few people looked at him and he tried to ignore their gazes.

The bothan behind the bar looked him up and down judging him and Ben was sure he passed the test.

Ben knew he looked older than his sixteen years. He was too tall for an omega, and it helped age him. He may not have felt confident inwardly, but he could put on an act for a few minutes.

“I’d like a dozen nerf sausages, and whatever ale is on tap.”

It was a safe order, most places had it, and he could wrap up any extra sausages for later. The ale would probably be watered down so it would do little more than warm him, and it would make people assume he was older.

Once Ben paid he found an empty booth by the murky window. It was still early evening on the planet and other than a group of what looked to be young First Order officers, the place was deserted.

Ben didn’t know much about the First Order other than a few things his mother said in passing. They didn’t seem to be the threat she thought they were. The four that were drinking all looked to be only a few years older than him, their off-duty uniforms untucked and rumpled.

One of them had been watching him since he came in, and Ben returned the stare, their eyes meeting.

The young man was thin, maybe due to the lack of resources the First Order had, and had his bright red hair combed and gelled in place. A bit at the front had come loose, and his cheeks were slightly flushed from drinking. Maybe it was that Ben had never seen red hair in real life but he couldn’t stop staring. He found the man’s stare lingering in return.

He flashed Ben a smile. It was minimal, but that somehow got Ben more flustered than the toothy grins his friends at home gave him.

Ben could feel his own cheeks heating up, and he looked out the window to hide. He hated that he reacted so easily, so he made sure not to look back.

The sound of his plate being set down startled him, but nothing he ordered really needed prep, other than heating up the sausages.

It also gave him something to do other than look out the window. He took a long drink of the slightly bitter ale first. It was as watered down as he had expected and Ben already felt a little calmer. This was a situation he could control.

“Is this seat taken?”

Ben looked up to see the redheaded officer from earlier. there was a patch on his neck over his scent gland, and so Ben nodded his head.

“You can join me if you want, but I can’t promise it will be entertaining.”


	2. Chapter 2

Hux smiled at the self-deprecating comment, but he doubted the words. The man had hardly spoken and Hux had hardly been able to concentrate on anything else since he had walked in the door. 

Hux hadn’t known a lot of omegas who didn’t wear scent blockers, but he had known a few. The prostitute his father had got him for his coming of age, his birth mother who was sent away not long after he was five, and a fellow student who had died during their training. The scent was not something he could forget, but it also wasn’t something that normally would distract him.

The scent was faint, but Hux could still almost taste it. It made him look towards the door to see the owner. Hux had been only a little interested until he had seen the person it belonged to. Tall enough that he was almost the same height, with a sharp jaw and a nose that made him look noble. His lips were plush and Hux was sure they would be as soft as they looked. 

The big brown eyes were what Hux got lost in though, they seemed to hold all the emotions in the world. 

“If need be I will do all the entertaining. What may I call you? My name is Armitage.”

Ben paused as if he wasn’t sure he wanted Hux to know his name. He parted his lips and then closed them again before finally speaking up.

“Ben.” 

Hux held out his hand, unable to help himself. Ben took it and Hux squeezed his hand as they shook. Hux lingered, rubbing his thumb over the back of Ben’s hand. 

Ben’s cheeks flushed and he took his hand back, but he didn’t look like he wanted to leave. He watched Hux as if he was scrutinizing him and hadn’t yet decided if he was worth talking to or not. 

Hux was glad he had straightened up his regulated leisure clothing, he wanted to look his best. It was his first real shore-leave since he graduated the academy, the reward for clawing his way up to the rank of captain. This junkyard of a planet had been picked because it was also a stop for resources. 

The ship would return in a week and until then he was free to do whatever he wanted, within reason. He had been annoyed at first at the destination, though. There was almost no entertainment and not enough of a connection with the ship to allow him to work.

Yet the dirty little city was starting to look a lot brighter each time Ben’s eyes drifted over him. 

He sat down across from Ben and watched him take a bite of his sausage, waiting for him to chew before speaking.

“What brings you out here? I do hope it will keep you a few days.”

Hux had to know if he had more time. He wasn’t a major yet and so was not allowed a mate, but he saw no problem with starting to court someone. It was skirting the rules, but Hux wasn’t one to let any chance slip through his fingers if it looked like it might be worth it. It was how he managed to make captain by twenty-one. 

“I just had to drop off a shipment, I’ll probably have to leave soon.”

Ben looked out the window as he spoke, but it wasn’t a wistful look. His expression was filled with dread, as if he wanted to stay as long as possible. 

“I’ll be here for the rest of the week. I have a room at the inn around the corner. It’s not much but if you would like to stay, you are welcome to.”

When Ben looked back at him, he gave him a sardonic smile. 

“I don’t think sleeping with an alpha I don’t know would be appropriate, but I wouldn’t mind having some company until I have to leave.”

Hux found he liked Ben even more with his spark of attitude, laying down his boundaries, showing that he knew his own mind. 

“I can do that.” 

Hux allowed himself to watch Ben while he ate, his long lashes fluttering when he took a bite. His lips were a little slick with grease and Hux didn’t even notice that he leaned forward at first. He had never wanted to kiss someone so much. Every bit of himself Ben showed only made Hux like him a even more.

Hux had never been one for delicate, demure lays. 

After a few moments of taking in Ben’s features Hux guessed that, if anything, Ben was either older than him or maybe the same age. Although Hux didn’t have a grand amount of experience he was sure that he could at least hold his own against Ben. 

“So how is it being a smuggler?”

Hux asked, and by the way Ben’s eyebrows rose he could only guess that he was right. 

“How is it being in the First Order?”

Ben shot back, taking another bite.

“I’m not sure I have anything to compare it to. All my life I’ve been a part of it, but if I had to come up with something, I would say that it’s an honour. I’ve been lucky that I have been able to work with the finest that the Order has to offer.”

“Sounds like a recruitment spiel rather than an answer.”

The rudeness surprised a laugh out of Hux. Ben really wasn’t like anyone he’d known, though most of his interactions were limited to members of the First Order. The few times he spoke to someone outside of the Order it was purely for supplies or to let them know they were now a part of the Order. 

“It’s not easy, but I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.”

“Not even being a smuggler?”

“I don’t know many smugglers, other than you. I don’t know much about it.”

“I never said I was one.”

“You never said you weren’t.”

Hux waved to the bartender. He doubted that they would normally get service at their table, but it was a slow night. The man came over showing obvious annoyance, but he took Hux’s order of another drink for each of them. 

When refills were brought to the table, Ben tilted his head before speaking. 

“I’m not sure I need another drink.”

Even as he spoke Ben picked up the glass and took a sip. 

“I know, but I do. It only seemed right that I should get you one to thank you for the company, and I can’t say that it’s fully innocent. I wouldn’t mind hearing a few stories about your work, be it smuggling or other.”

Hux wouldn’t normally have cared, but he wanted to know more about Ben, and it was one of the few things he had to go on.

Slowly Ben started to tell him about a time when he had been working a run with his father. Ben’s face lit up as he told it, smiling brightly each time Hux laughed at the right moments. 

Ben seemed to be relaxing, focusing just on him. Whatever had been bothering him was out of mind for the moment. He seemed carefree when he smiled, and Hux wanted to make him smile all the time. Carefree was something he hadn’t been since he could remember. He always had responsibilities, and Hux wanted those responsibilities, but as he listened to Ben’s stories for a second he thought what it might be to be the mate of a smuggler. Travelling between star systems of their own free will, no mother-ship or generals telling them where to report to. 

It was getting late and they were finishing up their fourth drink before Ben seemed to come back to reality. 

“I should go, I should have left a while ago.”

With a long week ahead of them Hux had almost hoped he could convince the young rogue to stay. He wasn’t quite ready to part, so when Ben stood, he did as well. 

“May I walk you to your ship.?”

Ben looked him over as if he was weighing something in his mind. Hux knew he was being judged and he found that he really cared if he was found worthy or not.

“Alright.”

Ben packed up the leftover sausages in a napkin and tucked it into his belt. 

They stood together and Hux was pleased to see he was only an inch or two taller than Ben. It was like they were made for each other, an omega that would suit him perfectly. He could see himself as a Grand Marshal with Ben beside him, tall and charming. With enough of a bite to survive by his side in the First Order.

They walked slowly, and it showed Hux that he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t ready to end the night. He held out his hand and after a long moment Ben took it, their bare skin touching. If they were on Arkanis this would be an acceptance of the first stage of courting. He wasn’t sure how it translated to wherever Ben came from. 

“I don’t suppose you will be back before the end of the week?”

Ben shook his head, and one ear peeked out from between strands of hair, he almost seemed bashful now that they were touching. 

“I probably won’t ever get to come back.”

“Then you should give me your information, so we can continue to talk. Maybe we could meet again on my next leave.”

It could be years, but by then Hux would be ready for a mate, and they would both know if they were suited to each other. 

“I could do that.”

Ben squeezed his hand, and Hux knew they were getting close to his ship because they were slowing even more. It made him hopeful that Ben was enjoying the night as much as he was. Maybe it was the alcohol, but Hux felt young and giddy for the first time in his life. 

Maybe that was just the rush of his instincts. 

There was a gentle breeze and he caught Ben’s scent. He wanted to memorize his scent, so that in the years he had to wait he would have something tactile to remember.

Hux didn’t realise how far he had let his guard down until he felt Ben tense beside him, his grip tightening in Hux’s hand. 

“Something’s wrong.”

All of Hux’s senses came back to him and he took in their surroundings. He brought Ben up against one of the buildings while he took in the men casually resting by an idle ship. They were too casual, and when they moved Hux could see the lumps that would be weapons hidden under their clothing. 

“Is someone after you?”

Ben looked lost and shook his head, but he also didn’t look so sure about his answer. 

“Maybe… After my partner.”

The last part sounded like a lie from the lips of someone who wasn’t very good at lying. For a smuggler he seemed so innocent. 

“I don’t have a weapon. We’ll just back out of here and go to my quarters for a while.”

“I do.”

“One blaster isn’t going to be enough for six armed men.”

Ben nodded and then followed him as they started back the way they came.

“Hey!”

The shout had to be directed at them, and Hux kept walking calmly, his eyes darting around to find escape. A small storage hall was to their left and the only option. Hux hoped it only led somewhere. 

“I might start running.”

He warned Ben and felt the omega tense beside him. Ben started pulling and Hux knew that they would have to run because Ben was giving himself away. 

“Run.”

Ben kept up with him easily as Hux pulled him towards the storage hallway, hoping to get around the corner before anyone opened up fire. 

He heard a shot behind them, but Ben didn’t falter beside him, holding his hand tighter as they made their way between stack after stack of shipping crates. It took two turns before they realized that they had made a mistake. There was no escape. 

“Your blaster...I might be able to hold them back long enough for someone to notice.”

Ben shook his head and pulled his hand out of Hux’s, moving to one of the animal crates and working at the lock. Before Hux could even argue that it would be a waste of time, the lock popped open under Ben’s hands as if it was magic. 

“Locks like me.”

He opened the crate and slipped inside. Hux had no choice but to follow him. It was dark, and they had to hunch over but it had been cleaned and there were only their own scents in the empty crate. Ben moved to the far corner, and Hux joined him, listening for any sound. 

It was too dark to see, but he felt Ben’s blaster being pressed into his hand. 

Hux wasn’t sure how long they stood there listening, but time seemed to crawl. His back started to ache and he pulled Ben down so that they were sitting against the wall. The metal was cold even with the thin shirt he wore. 

He kept the blaster relaxed in his hand, with his other wrapped around Ben’s shoulders. Hux had almost expected him to pull away, but he snuggled in closer to keep the chill away.

There were noises outside the crate, so they didn’t dare speak at first. Even with adrenaline rushing through his system Hux’s mind was having a hard time thinking about anything other than Ben. His hair was brushing Hux’s cheek and they fit together like they belonged. It only reminded Hux how important it was that he move up through the ranks. He would earn his right to bond and come back for Ben. 

“I don’t like the dark.”

Ben admitted so quietly that Hux could hardly hear his voice. 

“Then it’s a good thing you are not alone.”

“Well, for now.”

The comment sounded slightly bitter and Hux waited a moment to reply, thinking that there would be more.

“I’m not leaving.”

Hux reassured him, resisting the urge to press a kiss to the top of Ben’s head. He wanted to be able to protect Ben forever, and he saw the irony in the feeling as they sat huddled in a crate. 

“Sometimes I have dreams that are like this. Except I’m always alone. Almost alone.”

Ben leaned into his side a little more, and Hux held him a little tighter.

“There is a voice there, it’s the same one that had been there since I was young.”

Ben explained, but he didn’t say anything further. The silence stretched in between them, and then Ben turned in his arms. Hux couldn’t see him in the darkness but he felt Ben’s breath against his lips. He allowed Ben to be the first one to lean in, but as soon as their lips touched, he stopped holding back. Ben’s lips were as soft as they had looked.

Ben was tentative as the kiss deepened, his tongue lightly brushing against Hux’s own. Hux brought his hand up from Ben’s side to cup his jaw, and let him know that it was wanted.

Hux wanted to put down the blaster and pull Ben fully into his lap, but he wasn’t going to leave them fully exposed if the crate was opened. So he settled for a gentle kiss that was over all too soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Ben had enjoyed the fantasy of the last few hours, a moment when he could flirt with an alpha with no expectations, and just live the life of a simple, rogue smuggler. He wanted to keep it like this, where he could control the interactions. Control his own life.

Even though they were hiding in a dark crate, he still felt freer than the hours he had spent with the stuffy men his mother had picked for him. 

Although it hadn’t been Ben’s intent, it had been sort of nice to play with the idea of meeting someone without the pressure. The game would be over as soon as Ben left, but for now he was trying to keep up with his first kiss. 

It made his heart beat wildly in his chest, the taste of Armitage in his mouth and the gentle nudge of his tongue. He slowly pulled back and wished he could see Armitage’s face. See if the kiss had shook him as deeply as it had Ben. 

He could see how one might be dependent on an alpha, how they could get caught up in the scent of their body, and their touches. Ben felt safe with the arm around his shoulder and Armitage holding him, even though he knew that they could be caught at any moment. 

It was almost addictive. 

He wondered if this was what his mother expected, that he would start dating and just give up on a future of freedom. 

Ben wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to fight his instincts forever. It had been difficult enough going through just one heat. He wasn’t sure how his father had been alone so long, and part of him wished he could never bond.

Thinking about his father made him frown. Ben didn’t know what trouble Han had gotten into, but he was the one who would have to deal with it. 

“Do you think they are gone?”

There was a pause, and when Armitage spoke, his voice was hushed. 

“No.”

“Do you think we will get out of here?”

The arm around his shoulder tightened and Ben put his hand against Armitage’s chest, feeling steadied by the touch.

“Of course. I earned my rank, and if we can’t outwait them I will figure out another way to get us out of here alive.”

The confidence in his voice chased away a little of the fear. Ben had always felt like he was stumbling, it felt good that at least one of them didn’t doubt their ability to survive. 

Even with that confidence, they didn’t leave right away. They stayed in the darkness talking quietly and sometimes sharing soft kisses for the next few hours. 

It was easy to pretend they weren’t in danger like this, and Ben found himself sharing more than he intended, about his nightmares, and about how his parents view of him was so different from his own. He ended up between Armitage’s legs, trying to keep warm as the chill of the night bit through the metal container. 

At least he managed to keep out identifying comments, or at least enough that Armitage wouldn’t be able to find out who his parents were. So, when he left he would be able to keep this as it was, a fantasy of a life that he would never have.

His body was starting to ache from being stuck sitting when Armitage spoke again.

“We should attempt to leave, enough time has passed. If they haven’t left, their guard will at least be down.”

Ben nodded and then spoke when he realized Armitage couldn’t see him.

“I guess it’s now or never.”

The anxious feeling was returning from having to face the armed men, and somehow worse, the thought of facing his parents after this stunt. If he thought they were smothering him now he could already imagine how much worse it was going to become. 

He crawled out of Armitage’s lap and towards the door, carefully opening it just a sliver. He couldn’t see anyone, and even though it had gotten dark outside, the light from the moon was enough that he could make out their surroundings. If he had to guess he would think that they had been in the crate almost all night. 

Ben slipped out, holding his breath as he searched the shadows for any hint of a humanoid form. When he was sure the coast was clear he took a step out and stretched out his body, working out the soreness. Armitage moved past him, the blaster still in his hand, but not yet ready to use. 

He seemed more alert, and Ben watched him carefully check around the corner before waving him forward. They made their way out of the storage hallway together, Ben hanging back and letting someone with more experience take the lead. 

When they returned to the same place they had ran from Ben had that sick feeling in his stomach about returning home again. 

It was fun pretending at finding someone but the reality of being mated was something he didn’t want. He didn’t want to be content to sit in someone’s arms, he wanted to keep his drive, he wanted to be more than just an omega. Ben couldn’t think of how he could tell his mother without crushing her hopes, or his father without insulting him. 

It made him want to pretend that there was no way out and stay longer. 

Hux moved with an agility that Ben wasn’t able to mimic as he stayed to the darker shadows, but they were able to skirt the ship, coming around to the back so that they were behind the two men on guard. He watched with his heart in his throat as Armitage lifted the blaster and let off two shots. 

The men fell, but Hux and Ben both stayed frozen, not yet knowing if they had made too much noise, or if more men would come to replace the fallen guards.

Ben felt dizzy as Armitage took his hand and started to pull him forward to the blast doors. Ben would have to leave quickly, before anyone noticed. 

His hand was shaking as he tried to open the door and it took him a second try before it opened. He started to step towards it, but Armitage’s hand tightened on his own. 

“I need a way to contact you.”

Ben took a long look at Armitage. A young alpha, with bright red hair and eyes so light they even shined in the light of the moon. The off duty uniform a reminder of who he belonged to.

Ben knew there would be no way he would ever see him again, their lives were going in two different directions and just for a moment he saw that as a solution. 

“It won’t matter.”

He lied, but this time he put his conviction behind it. 

“I will have more free time soon, we can make it work.”

Armitage’s face was serious in a way that Ben would never be. This wasn’t something he wanted, but it could be just the thing that could save him.

“The reason I’m here… It’s because my parents are going to force me to pick a mate. If I leave then I won’t get to choose.”

He tried to put the Force into his words, tried to make Armitage believe them. In a way Ben did. He could see Armitage deflate a little and he knew it worked, he knew any step he took from here on out was foolish, but Ben wasn’t going to stop now.

“The only way would be if you bonded to me now.”

He made the words as convincing as he could, but in the end the decision would be up to Armitage. 

“I can’t.”

Armitage tightened his hand in Ben’s, not letting him pull away yet. He was looking at him as if he was weighing out every moment of the time they had spent together. 

“You’ll have to wait for me. Two years. I’ll need a way to talk to you.”

With that, Ben knew he was going to get what he wanted. A mate he would never see again, who could never interfere in his life, and the freedom from any interference from his parents. 

He tilted his head and Armitage moved in, letting go of his hand so that he could wrap his arms around Ben’s waist. Armitage held him tight before his lips skimmed his neck, and then Ben tensed as the pain of the bonding bite hit. 

It hurt more than he expected, but that wasn’t the hardest part. He felt the bond solidifying between them. Armitage’s tightly reigned feelings found a home inside of him. It wasn’t like he had expected, it was so much more intense...as if his body was burning in the best way at every point where their skin touched. 

Then Armitage pulled back a little, laying a few kisses against the fresh bite. 

He felt dizzy as he told Armitage his personal identification number, changed just enough that they wouldn’t be able to speak. With the new bond Ben wasn’t sure how strong he would be if Armitage was able to talk to him. 

Ben felt guilty that he would be taking the chance from Armitage to have a real mate, but at the same time he wanted his freedom more. 

“Until I see you again.”

Armitage kissed him on the mouth again, the taste of his own blood on Hux’s lips.


	4. Chapter 4

Hux’s life had been a steady, steady rise to power at any cost. Over the years the foolishness from his youth had rubbed off and the only reminder was the fluttering of feeling that would touch him at random times. The bond was something he had begun to think of as a curse.

It was a harsh lesson, one that sometimes kept him up at night when he felt how scared his mate was. Terror pulling at him, and there was nothing he could do. He would just lay in bed with the knowledge that there was nothing he could do to save Ben from whatever horrors he was experiencing. 

Hux felt like it had been years since he has been able to sleep through a full night, in the day he could ignore it, keep busy. At night when he was alone, he couldn’t ignore it, so instead of sleeping he got to work. It gave him time to plan, it gave him the push to get where he was. He became a General not only for himself, but for the mate that should be by his side. 

There were times when he wished he could follow the bond to his mate, but it didn’t work like that, and the only information he had was the wrong identification number and the name Ben. All his searches had always come to dead ends. 

This morning had been the worst yet for him, the feelings so strong that not even the early morning drills could pull him out of it. His stomach was turning and all he had managed to get down was a mug of bitter tea. He had even made work for himself by inspecting the new Special Forces Tie Fighters, just in the hopes that having something solid in front of him would keep the fear from affecting him. 

It was draining just existing. He couldn’t even look at food at first, but by the time he was able to bite into his rations, Hux found he could actually hold the food down. But even then, the interruption of an urgent message from the Supreme Leader was welcome. 

It was short, just a few words telling him to prepare the ship for special guests, but it was a good enough distraction. 

Even though he should be off his shift he stayed up to prepare. After all, if the Supreme Leader wanted him personally to know about the guests then they must be important. It also pleased him to have the Supreme Leader’s ear, it made doing menial tasks worth it. 

Hux inspected each guest room himself, and then returned to his own quarters. Normally he would kick off his boots and collapse into bed, too tired for the bond to haunt him, but this time it was unrelenting. So instead Hux changed into his dress uniform, his body aching from exhaustion. 

He would meet the guests himself. Having a task helped him get through the deep sadness that was pushing through the fear. 

Hux had one of his few rare occasions where he wondered if his mate was dying alone. Part of him wished to be freed from the bond, and part ached at the thought of never being able to reach out and know that his mate was out there somewhere. The thought was paralyzing, and he had to push himself to get back on task. 

It took a moment for him to make sure that every inch of his uniform was perfectly in place, and then Hux moved to his dresser to add the finishing touches. He carefully combed his hair into place again, making sure the few hairs that had fallen out of place were back where they belonged. He was pleased to see how he looked in the mirror, the greatcoat added size to his height and with everything in place he looked his rank despite his young years. 

With a last check to make sure that he would meet even the strictest old imperials’ standards, he left for the reception bay. 

It would be a while before the guests arrived, but that didn’t stop Hux from making his men wait with him. Hux knew they would all be aching from standing at attention for so long, but together they stood as if they were statues. It was worth it when the ship came into range with little warning. 

It wasn’t the type of ship he had expected; it looked like a battered old command shuttle. They were hardly in use anymore, mostly repurposed to fit the form that the First Order wanted to display. This would have been sent due to proximity, rather than for the importance of the guests, Hux was sure of it. Snoke would never have gone out of his way for a nobody. 

The flying was smooth, and the pilot brought the ship in the bay in a manner that Hux would have been proud of if it had been his own men. As it was, he was already making plans to try and poach them for his own command. 

The blast door opened, and instead of seeing a dignitary or ambassador there was just a few dirty young adults covered in blood and dirt. Their clothing was reminiscent of republic style, and just from a quick scan he could see that a few of them were injured. They had glassy looks on their faces, as if whatever they had experienced was still too fresh for them to process the moment they were in.

He tried not to be disappointed. After all, if Snoke felt these people were important to their cause, then it would only help his status in Snoke’s eyes to help them. 

“Bring the medics, help our guests to the medbay.”

Hux barked out the orders before striding towards them, he kept close as each one was checked over and he made sure that they were in no immediate danger. Although a few had laser burns, the worst wounds were two missing limbs, but now that they would be able to access the medbay there was nothing that would be life-threatening.

They were babbling and he understood they were students of some sort. Again, Hux tried not to be too disappointed. 

“Is this everyone?” He asked a young woman who seemed to be holding herself together. 

She looked around, taking time to answer. 

“Still one more inside, his leg was injured.”

“We’ll make sure to get him to the medbay.”

Hux sent in another MedTech and he was glad that they were almost finished with this nonsense. Even with the sorrow flooding him through the bond, he knew he would be able to sleep once he found his bed. 

His eyes ached as he blinked and he had to resist the urge to rub at them. He couldn’t allow any out of place behavior in front of his men. He couldn’t show any sloppiness, or weakness.

That was forgotten the second he saw the last person still aboard the rickety ship. His hair was longer, and he was both taller and wider than the last time Hux had seen him, but he would never forget those dark eyes or the soft lips he had kissed all those years ago. They were the last lips he had ever kissed. 

His clothing was soaked with blood and he limped, but without a doubt it was his Ben. 

It all felt like it made sense now. This was his reward. After all his hard work his mate was returned to him. He didn’t know how Snoke had found him, but he didn’t care.

Hux’s instincts controlled him just as much as his bond did. All the anger and resentment were forgotten as he closed the distance between them and pulled Ben to his chest. Even though it wasn’t the reunion he had dreamed of, Ben did let go of the medtech and gave into the embrace. Not holding him in return, but allowing himself to be held. 

Hux felt like he was going through emotional whiplash, but for the first time in six years his bond felt at peace. 

“Where have you been?”

He didn’t really expect an answer, and when he felt Ben start to return his embrace he didn’t care about the answer. Hux could feel how terrified and confused he felt. Whatever had brought Ben to him had also torn his mate’s world apart, but Hux had felt his mate’s world for years...an end to the fear and pain was needed. He was only surprised that Ben’s body was so healthy despite the emotional strain he had been feeling from him. 

Hux forced himself to pull back, but Ben hung onto him now, as if once he’d started touching Hux, he couldn’t stop.

Hux tried to pull his tattered dignity around him, after letting his guard drop in front of his troops, but he didn’t have it in him to push Ben away.

“How badly are you hurt?”

Ben seemed out of it, and his mouth opened but he didn’t respond. 

“The plasma burn on his leg will heal with little complication if we can get him to the medbay immediately, sir.”

“Alright, make sure the others are seen to.”

Hux took it for the hint it was and walked with Ben, feeling like he was in the same daze Ben was. The scent of him was intoxicating, and feeling his steady body beside him was something Hux thought he would only ever dream about, and yet here Ben was. 

It wasn’t until one of the MedTech’s was looking after Ben’s leg that Hux could start to pull his thoughts together. He didn’t know if Snoke knew who Ben was, and he wasn’t sure whether this was either a reward or a way to make sure that Hux stayed in line while Starkiller Base was complete. 

Hux would accept either, knowing that from here on out he could make sure Ben was no longer afraid. Besides, Snoke would not be able to hold him back. Hux was already the youngest general in the First Order. Even if he had a mate to protect, it would only stabilize his rank. There were things that were expected of generals. His missing mate had been a weak point until now. 

Normally Hux never struggled to find words, but watching Ben and, taking in the sight of his long-lost mate, had him drawing blanks. The exhaustion didn’t help matters. He wanted to ask why he had never been able to contact Ben, and ask him where he had been hiding, and why he had never tried to contact Hux. It was as if the hundreds of questions were all fighting to get out so that none of them did. 

Instead he could only watch Ben in silence. He looked even better than he had all those years ago, hair framing his face, and his features evening out as he grew into them. He no longer looked like an awkward boy with oversized limbs. He had grown into his body, chest and shoulders broad. Ben was beautiful in a way that Hux had never expected. 

Even though Hux had planned for this time to show who he assumed would be dignitaries around, he felt the itch to get back to work as he thought about Ben. It was always what he did when he ran into feelings he didn’t have the time for. 

“Did you know?”

Ben’s voice was hoarse.

“Know what?”

“That I was coming?”

“No.”

Hux was proud that his voice was clear when he responded. At least he sounded put-together even if he wasn’t feeling it. 

He watched the wound cleaned, not able to leave Ben’s side for a moment. He held his hand as the medtech stitched it shut, and the bacta patches were put on. 

Hux was saved from having to decide what to do next, by the medtech’s voice.

“Who is your mate? While you heal it is often recommended to be close to your alpha.”

“I will take him.”

Hux felt joy in being able to claim a mate after all these years. He just needed more information. That would have to wait though, while his physical body might be healing, Ben seemed like he was still in shock. 

Ben was wobbly as he got off the gurney, but when Hux extended his hand he took it. Ben leaned on him as they walked to Hux’s quarters and Hux only felt pride as they were noticed by different officers. This omega was his and everyone would know it. 

“You’ll like my quarters. You can rest for a while.”

Hux spoke to Ben using the same voice he used on scared young recruits. He didn’t get a vocal response, but Ben nodded. It was enough, it would have to be enough because it meant he got to hold his mate a little longer. 

He still felt off balance from seeing Ben, as if it wasn’t actually real. It might be foolish to take in someone who was basically a stranger, but in a way, Ben wasn’t. He had been sharing his feelings since Hux had marked him all those years ago. No one would ever be as close as the two of them were.

The walk felt too long, shuffling together in silence until they reached his quarters. 

Hux felt strangely nervous. He wasn’t prepared for a mate, his rooms were fairly bare. He had never needed anything more, but now he wished he had soft blankets and extra pillows to surround Ben in. 

His hand trembled slightly as he entered his entry code and then ushered Ben into his quarters for the first time. It wasn’t much, and he knew that, but Hux could make it better, and he would. 

“Would you like to lay down?”

“I’d like a shower.”

They walked to the refresher together, and there was a moment of awkwardness when Hux helped Ben out of his tunic. 

Hux sucked a breath in through his teeth. He had felt Ben those years ago, he was softer and thin. Now Ben had a strength that wasn’t there before, his body sculpted to perfection. Fit enough that Hux was both envious and aroused. He wanted to feel it under his hands and his mouth, but he knew it wasn’t really the time. 

Hux politely looked away as Ben undressed to his underwear and then went to stand outside the door while he finished. When he heard the sonic shower start up he busied himself finding something that Ben could wear so he wouldn’t have to put dirty clothing back on. The difference in their size made Hux’s skin feel hot with want, but it also made it difficult to pick something from his wardrobe. His mate was too big for most of his clothing. In the end could he only find leggings and a robe that might fit Ben. 

He didn’t really think he should leave Ben alone, so he opened the refresher door and stood outside the sonic shower with the clothing over his arm.

The noise stopped, and the door opened a little.

“I found you something to wear for now.”

Hux held the clothing up to the opened door and an arm reached out and grabbed it. 

He felt like his ears were straining to listen as Ben got dressed, and he could see it in his mind: Ben pulling the leggings up his thick thighs and settling them around his waist. 

Hux had been under control for so long, and in just a few hours he felt it all slipping. 

“Thank you.”

Ben stepped out, the robe messily done up so that it hung open over his chest. 

“I’ll have the quartermaster find something for you for tomorrow, but for now you should rest.”

Ben gave a sloppy nod and followed Hux to his bedroom. Having his omega in his bedroom after all those years alone was enough to make him dizzy. Ben didn’t seem to have the same problem and climbed into the bed without being prompted. 

Hux watched him for a while, watched how he tucked a pillow under his head and let his hair fall messy over it. He watched how Ben took a few deep breaths before he settled. He was so beautiful that Hux could hardly believe that it was all his.

It didn’t feel right to be beside Ben in bed yet, like Hux should court him longer, but it was the MedTech’s orders. 

“You should rest for tonight. I’ll stay with you if you need anything.”

That excuse was enough for him and he undressed to his underwear and a thin undershirt. He could keep his voice steady, but his body trembled from excitement as he crawled into bed beside Ben. 

Ben moved into Hux’s side, as if it were only days they had been apart and not years. 

“I thought he was lying.”

Ben’s voice was airy, and Hux stayed quiet, letting him continue.

“He said that Luke would try and kill me, he said so many things and I thought maybe they weren’t true. But I was wrong. It was all true.”

Hux slipped an arm around Ben and pulled the blankets over him. Although Ben didn’t seem like himself, his breathing was steady and Hux could feel the tension seeping out of his body. Hux had no clue who Luke was, but he guessed he was the reason that Ben had been scared all those years. If he was still alive Hux would find a way to make him pay for what he did to both of them.

“He tried to kill me, and the other students...most of them didn’t believe me, they tried to stop me… Us… from leaving.”

Ben was almost babbling.

“They’re all dead.”

“Then you are safe. I’ll see to it you stay that way.”

Hux meant every word and he felt rewarded when Ben curled closer. Ben was so strong and yet he was taking comfort from him. It made Hux wonder how he could have gone so long without his mate, now that he was here it made him realize how deeply right it felt. Ben belonged in his arms.

“He told me I belonged here. I didn’t know he was talking about you.”


	5. Chapter 5

At first Ben couldn’t remember what happened, there was just the overwhelming feeling of safety. For once he dreamt without Snoke whispering in his mind, and he finally felt like he had gotten a full night’s sleep. 

The world smelled right, but blankets were softer than he was used to though, and that is what made him open his eyes.

It was only when he saw the redhead sleeping next to him, half on him, that the memories came back to him. 

Luke above him with his lightsaber ignited, about to murder him in his sleep, and then the horror of everything that happened after that. His heart was pounding and he felt clammy as he sat up so that Armitage slipped off him. The unfamiliar surroundings didn’t help. 

The pain in his leg was a reminder that Snoke was right, that none of his family cared about him. They were the ones who had abandoned him and then finally tried to send him to his death. 

Snoke had brought him to safety, away from those who would have hurt him. He had also brought Ben to his mate. 

Although he wasn’t sure how he felt about that, he trusted in Snoke now. Ben had no one else. Anger started to rise in him now that the numbness was gone, but it started to calm again as a slender hand rested on his bare chest. It was odd to have someone touch him so intimately, someone he didn’t really know, and yet his body knew. 

It was a lot to process, almost too much, and yet the touch was calming. He felt more right in a stranger’s bed than he had in years in his own head. 

It felt freeing and he wondered if it was because this was where he was meant to be. The Force was telling him he belonged with Armitage, and with Snoke.

“Ben, are you alright?”

Ben shook his head. He didn’t feel alright. Ben felt like he was going to burn up with emotion if Armitage stopped touching him. Ben put his own large hand over the one on his chest, holding it there.

He had never experienced the calm of being with his mate. He had never intended to, but at the moment it felt like it was the only thing stopping him from screaming until his lungs gave out. 

“What can I do?”

Armitage sounded slightly lost, and he protectively moved closer to Ben. 

“I think I need to touch you.”

Armitage pulled his hand away, and Ben made a sound of complaint as he watched Armitage take off the thin undershirt. Only a few seconds passed and then Armitage moved back into Ben’s side, opening up the robe even more so that their bare skin touched. Slowly Armitage pulled him back down to bed and Ben felt the blissful calm of their bond settling back into place.

“I can’t believe you are here.”

Through the bond Ben could feel a stirring of hurt, but it was pushed back and there was an almost stony calm. 

The bond had always been a reminder of his first attempt to escape, and he had felt Armitage’s anger and loneliness for years. It was a loneliness that he had echoed. Now that Ben was here it was as if those feelings had evaporated and it was almost strange to feel it missing. 

It just made everything more confusing; the abandonment of his family, the anger that had been inside him ever since he could remember, and now the warmth from his alpha. It made his chest ache to feel the acceptance. It wasn’t words that could turn out to be lies, it was Armitage’s emotions. 

He wanted to use it to make him forget everything else. 

Ben turned onto his side so he could look at his alpha. He’s never seen him so undressed and Ben reached out so he could appreciate his soft skin and smooth stomach. Over the years Hux had hardly changed from the tall, slender young man he’d been, it was as if he had been frozen in time from when they bonded. It made it easier, because this was the Hux that had helped him in his memory, the same bright red hair and soft lips that had given him his first kiss. 

“Do you need to return to the medbay?”

Armitage asked, touching Ben in return. It had been a while since anyone had asked after him and had actually meant it. It touched him more than he knew how to express. 

“I’ll survive.”

“I care about more than your survival.”

Hux’s hand roamed over Ben’s pecs, and Ben felt his stomach flutter. He could lean into this, forget about his life and just feel good for a few moments.

Ben tried to open his bond as much as possible, and just get lost in being someone else.

Armitage’s thumb ghosted over his nipple, and Ben leaned in closer, tilting his head so that their lips could meet. 

Ben had been with a few people since he and Hux had bonded. A few betas that he met while traveling with his father, and two of the students that studied under Luke, but it wasn’t like this. Their bond intensifying everything, he could feel his alpha’s need as their lips brushed and the hunger in his body, as his tongue tentatively licked over Ben’s lips. 

His alpha wanted him with every fiber of his body. The hand on Ben’s chest steadied, squeezing his pec slightly.

Ben had always known he didn’t fit the expected image of an omega. Too big, and too strong, but he hadn’t cared. It let him live his life on his own terms, but it still felt good to know his mate liked it, and only wanted him more because of who he naturally was. It was the acceptance Ben had been chasing all his life, and had been always out of reach. 

When Armitage broke the kiss, Ben found that he very much liked the look of Hux’s flushed lips. Ben tried to kiss him again but Armitage pulled back.

“Is this alright? I know you’ve been through a lot, if you just want to rest I will stay by your side.”

“I don’t want to sleep yet.”

Ben shifted forward so that Armitage could feel his hardening cock. 

This time Armitage allowed the second kiss. It felt right in a way that Ben hadn’t expected, his body had been wanting this, and he hadn’t even realized it was ever missing. Ben reached down to untie the belt of the robe so that it could fully open. 

Armitage took it as the invitation it was and his touch roamed down to his stomach. 

Armitage touched him possessively, and for a second Ben wondered why he had run from this. It was the only bond that hadn’t been broken or betrayed. In a way his mate couldn’t betray him, because it would hurt them both. 

He could feel the slick between his legs as Armitage’s fingers slipped under the waistband of his leggings. Armitage was sucking on Ben’s tongue as his fingers tentatively brushed against his erection. 

His hands were softer than Ben had expected from an alpha, but between that and Armitage’s soft, Ben knew he mostly stayed out of the field. There were no calluses on the hand wrapped around his cock and it made the gentle stroke feel even better. 

Ben moaned into the kiss, encouraging Hux to do something more. It didn’t seem to help at first, Armitage seemed to want to take his time even though his body was shaking from anticipation. It was terribly flattering, the state Ben had put his mate into, but he wasn’t doing much better himself. 

It was so much more intense with the bond, too. He could feel both Hux’s hand on him, and the hint in his mind of how Hux’s hand felt to be touching him. There was pleasure and need and it was filling him up, reminding him he was wanted here. It made his eyes water and he blinked to keep any tears from escaping. 

Armitage pulled back and looked into Ben’s shiny eyes. He had gotten so used to the bond being one-sided that he had forgotten that his mate would also be able to feel his emotions in return. 

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No”, Ben shook his head.

“I want this. I want you.”

Armitage made a little moan in the back of his throat, and Ben could feel how much it meant to his alpha. He needed this as much as Ben did. 

He placed his hand over Armitage’s and started to guide him, sometimes sharing small kisses, but mostly just watching Armitage touch him. 

Armitage seemed a little inexperienced, but he followed instructions well, tightening his grip on Ben’s cock when Ben put a little pressure on his hand. 

It was not enough. He knew it was their bond, but he needed more skin to skin contact. 

“Hold on.”

Ben had to move away so that he could slip out of his leggings, and he shrugged off the robe. Armitage was only in his underwear, but it was more than Ben wanted, so he brushed Armitage’s hand away so that they could change positions. 

Armitage understood what he wanted and slipped the last of his clothing off, letting Ben see him naked for the first time. He used a hand to try and hide his erection, but it wasn’t really that effective. 

Ben could feel his nerves and he wanted to reassure his alpha that he liked what he saw. He looked so soft and welcoming. And Ben wanted it all. 

He moved into Armitage’s lap, letting him feel the slick that had been building from their touches. 

“That’s all you.”

He murmured before silencing Armitage’s response with a kiss. 

Armitage’s hands came up to rest on Ben’s waist, gently guiding him back so that he could grind against his cock. Ben had been with alphas before, but none had been his very own alpha and he was starting to realize how different it would be. 

He’s never felt the same desperation he felt now, even though they had hardly touched. He had to steal another kiss because he needed to feel those soft lips against his own again. 

Ben rocked his hips back and he could feel his slick coating Armitage. 

“Are you sure?”

Armitage asked again, and Ben could read the emotions on his face. He wanted nothing more than to be a good alpha to him, he needed to know he was doing the right thing. 

“Yes.”

Ben leaned forward and tilted his head to the side, giving Hux access to the scars that he had laid there all those years before. At the same time that Ben felt lips caressing the scar, he also felt a hand slip over his hip and finger at his hole. Hux carefully pressed inside and Ben didn’t even try to hold back his moan. 

He liked that Armitage would feel how slick he was around his finger, and feel how wet he was becoming from the lips on their bond mark. 

“More.”

The request was met with obedience, and a second finger, helping to work him open. It felt so good to be touched like this. There was a little ache, but Armitage would never let it get to the point of pain. With the bond Armitage was able to both find the line and also the right spot inside him. It was where his knot would soon be and the thought was enough to make Ben shiver. 

He could feel teeth against his mark, and a light nip as another finger was added.

“I’m ready.”

All the hurt, anger and loneliness from earlier was pushed out of his mind and lost in their bond, there was only warmth and acceptance. 

He felt the fingers slip out of him and then the head of Armitage’s cock nudging against him.

This time there was no tentativeness as Armitage pushed inside him, it was too clear that they both wanted this. The echo of Armitage’s pleasure rippled through him as Ben started to sit back on him, helping Armitage fill him. 

Ben had to rock a few times to work his cock all the way inside him. His body was aching from taking it all, but he’d also never felt so right. Their bond was humming with it.

It was hard to think beyond it, to tug on Armitage’s hair so that he could take him in a kiss again as Ben started to ride him. 

Ben could almost hear the worship in his mind, how perfect Armitage thought he was, how he was everything his mate had been waiting for and more. He’d never tried to control the bond before, it had never been so intense, but there had always been distance and a lack of touch. 

It was praise as much as the feeling of Hux inside him that was bringing him closer. Ben wasn’t the only one, either. Each time he pushed down against Armitage he could feel the spot where his knot would be. It felt a little thicker each time, aching just a little bit more as it stretched him open. Just the knowledge that his mate was going to knot him was enough to make Ben’s thighs shake. 

He swore into Armitage’s mouth. All the flings he had never prepared him for this, and Ben wished he could make it last longer. There was no way he could drag it out though, not when he could hardly wait to get the swelling knot inside him. 

Ben moaned into the kiss when he couldn’t pull off it, and the feeling was enough that he couldn’t hold back his own orgasm. His body tensed around the knot, bringing Armitage with him until Ben could feel the rush of his come deep inside him. 

Armitage’s arms wrapped around him and they held each other, with only their breathing and the soft pecks that Armitage was pressing against his lips breaking the silence. It was no longer the deep kiss it had started as, yet it was perfect because his mate was the one offering it to him. 

Armitage seemed to know just what Ben needed. For a moment he couldn’t even remember the pain that he had felt since he had woken to see his uncle’s betrayal.


	6. Chapter 6

Hux knew that he wasn’t really playing host anymore, but he would take the time it allowed him to be with his mate. Ben was asleep again, and Hux laid against his chest listening to his heart beating. He was so solid, and real. It was odd to have something that he had only dreamed about under his hands again.

The morning had been spent in bed, Ben demanding attention every time Hux could feel his anxiety through their bond. He noticed quickly how much it helped, that Ben melted under his touch and he understood the feeling. The bond was a weakness he hadn’t allowed himself since the last time he had seen Ben.

And now he was back, turning Hux’s world upside-down again.

It would be worth it, though. Only the mated got to rise past the rank of general.

A softer part of him thought about how nice it would be to be able to return to Ben every night. His alpha side wanted more, it had been years since he had seen his mate. Hux wanted to have pups and to keep Ben at his side until he felt sure he wouldn’t lose his mate again.

The night before had left him utterly tired, but it was worth it. He had never felt such a deep sense of belonging as when his knot was lodged inside Ben. He could feel how content and relaxed his mate was, and the feeling seeped into him. They had both needed someone, and it was intense to finally be allowed to give into that feeling.

All the words that he had stored up inside him could wait. First he would help Ben see that he was safe here. Hux would use every bit of his power to make sure of that.

Hux wanted Ben again, but there was also time to make up for. He needed to know what Ben expected from his return. The Supreme Leader still hadn’t given him further information on what to do with the students that they had collected. The only thing he knew was that Snoke expected them to join him on his ship two days after their landing.

Until then Hux was going to make the most of the time he and Ben had together. He hadn’t had his mate before so he was floundering a little on what he should do for Ben, but he had no more time to worry about that as Ben started to stir.

His dark lashes fluttered, and Hux already felt fond of the big brown eyes that met his gaze.

“Morning, I hope you rested well.”

Hux felt the fear from yesterday coming back to his mate, and he wished that he knew Ben well enough to ease it. All he had were his clumsy attempts so he reached out and brushed his fingers through Ben’s hair. It seemed to help, so he kept touching it.

“Better than I expected”, Ben admitted. 

He managed to look bashful even after all they had done, all that Ben had initiated the night before.

Hux’s fingers caught on a braid and he tugged on it. It had been tucked behind his ear, but now that he could see it, he noticed that at the bottom there were colourful bands around it.

Ben reached up and pulled them off, the end came slightly undone, but Hux couldn’t resist using his fingers and working it until all that was left was kinked hair.

“Thank you. I don’t need that anymore.”

Again there was sadness, but Hux was sure as long as he kept touching Ben they could get through this together. Until the horrors of what had happened to him were only a faded memory.

He had an idea how to start, at least. He had never gotten the chance to properly court Ben, it would be nice to show him just who he had bonded himself to. Hux liked the idea that Ben might be proud of him.

“Why don’t I give you a small tour of the ship, I think you will like her.”

Ben nodded, but made no move to get up. It wasn’t until Hux climbed off his chest and stood beside the bed with his hand out that Ben reached out and took it. Hux’s breath caught in his throat at seeing Ben fully nude again. He really was the most beautiful man that Hux had ever seen.

He didn’t get long to appreciate the view as Ben grabbed the robe from where it was discarded the day before and wrapped it around himself.

“Is there anything I can wear, or do you plan on parading me around the ship like this?”

Hux almost wished he could, he would love to see the envious look on all his officers as they got to see his mate.

“I am sure I can get something sent up. why don’t you join me for a shower and it should be up by the time we are finished.”

“Can you also get my personal items brought here? I had a bag on the ship.”

Hux nodded and found his pad. He ordered off-duty clothing in a size that he felt would fit Ben and then led him into the bathroom. He wanted Ben so desperately, but he also just wanted to be able to touch him.

Ben looked around the refresher and then let his robe drop down before stepping in. They were both taller men, so there wasn’t a lot of room for them both to fit. Not that Hux minded having Ben pressed up against him. He wanted all the touch he could get away with.

Ben managed to figure out the shower and soon warm water was raining down over them.

“Oh, with real water.”

Hux felt proud at Ben’s surprise, it made the work all the more worth it to be able to impress him. Not many officers had filtered water cycled through their shower.

Ben made a happy hum and leaned into it, Hux didn’t need to ask to be able to feel the invitation through their bond. He took one step closer and picked up the soap. Then he slipped his arms around Ben, enjoying the warm water that ran down his body. Hux started to slowly wash Ben and rubbing slow circles against his back. More than sex Hux needed Ben to know he would be safe here.

The wound on his leg would mostly be healed under the bacta patch, and Hux noticed that he was standing on it today.

They would make the First Order their home together just as he had started to alone.

The more he washed Ben the more he could feel him turning to putty in his arms. His omega had needed him, and now that they were together Hux would never refuse him anything. They had so much lost time to make up for.

For a while Ben shook and he wasn’t sure if he was crying or not, as he stayed silent, but Hux kept on washing him, sometimes murmuring in Ben’s ear that he was here to stay.

The water stayed pleasantly warm even after his feet had started to prune, but he waited for Ben to be the one to say he was ready to leave before they got out.

Just as he had washed Ben, he helped him dry. It was the actions of a courting alpha, but his father had said that you must always court your mate, even long after bonding to them. It was one of the few pieces of advice he would follow.

He could see Ben’s eyes were a little red, but he looked much better than the night before. The edge of wildness about him was faded.

“Will you join me for a walk?”

“I’d like that.”

Hux leaned in as he ran the towel over Ben’s long hair so he could steal a kiss, not that Ben was unwilling to give it. His tongue flicked over his lip and pushing into his mouth. His thoughts of showing Ben the ship were pushed away as his omega pulled him back into the bedroom.

/

It had taken all day before they managed to leave the room, and then Hux had puffed out his chest as they walked side by side through the ship. Ben looked handsome in the off-duty clothing of the First Order and he saw how people watched him. Yet their hands had been linked and the scar on Ben’s neck had been obvious.

They had spent the day like lazy teenagers, Ben asking a million questions and Hux impressed by his intelligence and willingness to learn.

That night had been spent much like the night before, and Hux had been bone tired before he fell asleep. The morning he woke to an empty bed and a piece of paper. He hadn’t seen anything like it in years, the writing was beautiful and each letter was formed with purpose.

“The Supreme Leader calls me to his ship, and yet I am still thinking of you. I hope you keep our quarters ready for when I return, I have so much I want to learn about you. I have so much I still have to tell you.  
Forever Yours Ben Hux”

Hux almost laughed at the words, because he felt the same way. Years had been spent searching for Ben and now that he had him it felt like it would take years again to tell him everything he wanted to say.

The joy was cut short as he felt pain through the bond, searing pain so bad he could hardly breathe. When he could think past the feeling, he stumbled out of bed to grab whatever was close. He needed to get to his mate.

Hux hardly thought as he dressed, all that he could concentrate on was the bond. He needed to know that Ben was okay beyond it all. The pain didn’t ease, not really, but it came in waves. Sometimes so bad Hux had to reach out and touch one of the walls to keep himself standing. The pain was fading slightly as he managed to get down to the docking bay and he realized he hadn’t asked permission to depart to the Supreme Leaders ship.

It all felt like bullshit when he knew Ben was over there suffering, but he was trained to follow the rules, so he sent over his request. It felt like hours, even though it was only a few minutes before he received his reply. Request Denied.

He sent a second message, asking after the students.

“Are you alright sir?”

Hux tried to pull himself together, he needed to be with Ben. He had told him he was safe here.

“I will be.”

He promised between gritted teeth.

The second reply took longer and Hux could feel his body aching from the echo he was feeling from the pain. It was like someone was burning Ben alive. He dug his nails into his palm to force himself to stop from jumping on a transport and getting shot down on his way over.

The pad made a noise to alert him of a reply and he found himself staring blankly at it.

The students were where the Supreme Leader wanted them, they would return to the Finalizer by the end of the week. Hux couldn’t hold back a gasp as another shock shot through him. He wasn’t sure Ben would last that long, but he also had to trust his mate was strong. He had made it through years of pain without Hux, once he was returned, they would make sure that he never hurt again.

/

The days had crawled by, it felt like he could hardly think. Although the pain through the bond was less often, he was hardly feeling anything through it at all. It was as if Ben was far away from him, and no matter what comfort he tried to push through it he never felt anything in return.

At night he would awake because of the anguish that Ben was feeling and he could do nothing but lay there and lose sleep.

It felt like a torture of its own, so much worse than the pain he had felt over the years, but he also knew it was coming to an end.

He was in a daze on the bridge when he was finally invited to join Snoke on The Supremacy. He had hardly said a word before hurrying down to the docking bay. Every second he saved rushing meant another one he wouldn’t have to spend away from his mate.

Hux was so tired, he needed this, just so that he could think clearly again.

The docking process seemed to take forever and Hux tried to reach out to Ben and yet was let down, but he was less worried now that they were close. He would find a way to help him, no matter what was going on.

Hux didn’t need to be led, but he followed anyways, going to the heart of the ship where Snoke resided.

Again, an eternity passed while he waited at the doors and then finally, they opened. He strode in, noticing a robed and masked figure standing where he normally did when he addressed Snoke. Hux came up to stand beside them, and realised that there was no scent. It was beyond the scent blockers he was used to, where there was always a hint to who the person was.

This was as if it was a robot beside him.

“Supreme Leader, I would like to ask after one of the students you brought aboard. Ben.”

He knew it was probably foolish to make a request without knowing why he was there, but Hux needed to know with every fiber of his being. His omega was suffering and he needed to be there for him.

“The one called Ben is dead, but it is of no matter. I have brought you here to meet my apprentice. He will be commanding the Finalizer alongside you.”

The words would have made him sick if he couldn’t still feel Ben through the bond. He might be suffering but he was alive. Hux didn’t care about the apprentice. Hux normally would have argued about sharing his command, but Ben came first.

“I need to see Ben. I will happily share my command, but I need to have my mate by my side.”

The figure beside him shifted, drawing attention to themselves, the mask turning to face Hux.

He could feel the pressure of Snoke’s anger filling the room, and couldn’t keep the shiver of fear down. It crackled in the air and clung to his skin, a reminder that Snoke could tear him apart with his just his mind. He reminded himself he had stood firm against his father, he could stand this.

“Ben is dead, as you will be if you ever speak that name again.”

The words had a finality that told him that Snoke meant it. For a second, Hux thought of pushing it further, because now that he had Ben he couldn’t imagine losing him again. It might be worth his death not to feel Ben fade away through their bond. The only thing that stopped him was knowing that Ben might survive this, and if he did, he would need his mate more than ever.

There was a hiss of air beside him, and he watched the figure unmask itself. The sick feeling deepened as Hux recognized the deeply bruised face. His lips and cheek were swollen and his eye almost completely closed, but it was his Ben. Except in a way it wasn’t, there was an emptiness to his expression, as if what he had gone through had robbed him of something joyful that made up the core of his Ben.

Only the reminder of his potential death seconds before kept him from saying Bne’s name.

“Darling.”

He reached out and lightly touched Ben’s face, he tried to show him through their bond that they would figure this out. Hux’s hand was slapped away and before he could react his thoughts were cut short as his world turned white. Now he fully understood the pain he had been feeling from Ben. The blast of electricity knocked him off his feet and he couldn’t figure out how to make his limbs move.

Everything hurt, including the bond. Yet Ben had lived through days of this.

“Your mate is dead General, you will do well to remember that.”

As if to agree, Ben echoed his words.

“Ben is dead, there is only Kylo Ren now.”

The words sounded lifeless, like they were parroted instead of said by choice. It left Hux filled with despair. He didn’t even know if there was anything left other than the manipulated body of his Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of part 2! hope you all enjoyed it!


	7. Chapter 7

It had been two months since Kylo Ren had woken to feel Hux over him with a weapon drawn. He had hated Hux at first, in a way he had hated him for years. Snoke whispered in his ear telling him that Hux only cared about rank, only wanted him so that he could be something beyond a General. He had called Hux a rabid cur, and claimed that he would have killed Kylo if Snoke wasn’t there. Sometimes Kylo could see it, the anger in Hux’s face, the sneers, the smug smiles when he failed, and yet a part of him always felt safe around Hux.

And then Hux had almost proved that he wanted Kylo’s death. 

At first Kylo had been furious that he was mated to a traitor and he relished the pain through their bond when he let Hux feel his power, then the regret and the sick feeling in his stomach had set in. Then as Snoke’s whispers faded, silenced by a lightsaber slicing through his middle, the bond Kylo hadn’t felt in years started to come back. And he thought more about the fact that Hux had hesitated, that in the end he had spared him.

Kylo would never admit it, but nights felt lonely when he could feel Hux in another part of the ship, away from him, and yet knowing that he wasn’t welcome to join him.

He remembered the first few years, Hux would speak to him in private, plead with him, touch him. Kylo had fought the bond as Snoke had told him, and had taken his helpless anger out on anything that he could justify destroying. The pull to Hux was harder to fight than any pull to the light. It made him feel unbalanced. 

Now that Snoke was gone, it was confusing and strange to be his own person. His parents had controlled so much of his life, and then Snoke had taken their place. While Kylo saw to the day to day of the running of the Order, he didn’t know what he wanted for himself beyond that. Whether Kylo wanted to regain what he had only felt for a moment with Hux, or if he wanted something else. 

Either way he knew he had to do something about his ex-mate. He couldn’t continue feeling him and not do something. Be it an execution, or a return to the past, Kylo knew that he had to figure out what he wanted. It would be hard to live through the death of a mate, but he felt he could manage. The thought brought on an uncomfortable twinge that settled in his chest. 

Snoke had always said Hux was a weakness, but now Kylo felt adrift in the thought. Losing his mate had hurt more than all the other things Snoke had put him through, yet Kylo knew he hadn’t fully lost Hux. Part of him wanted to prove that he could live without Hux, but Snoke was dead. Kylo no longer needed to prove himself to anyone. 

Kylo didn’t really know who he was beyond the one time when he had ran away and the choice to bond with a stranger. He felt like his actions hadn’t been his own since then until he decided to kill Snoke to spare the other omega who he thought was like him. 

He had been wrong about Rey, but he wasn’t sure he had been wrong about his choice in Hux. Not really, not yet. 

Kylo was brought out of his thoughts by the man himself being announced and then shortly he felt the anger as Hux came through the door. It was surprising how much Snoke had hid from him, Kylo had felt nothing from their bond since the day he had become Kylo Ren. It was just one more confusing step to living as his own person. 

The anger showed in every line of Hux’s body, not just his feeling. His stance was tense and his face held a sneer that had become familiar in the last few years. Old frustration and anger came up from seeing it. He hadn’t earned the anger, he hadn’t betrayed Hux. Ben Solo had. 

He tried to remind himself that Kylo Ren was unmated, but it was so much harder to deny when he could feel Hux through their bond. 

“What do you want.”

Kylo spat the words out, leaning into the anger that always flared up when he saw Hux. He tried not to think about why it made him angry, he didn’t want to think about why that might be. 

“Supreme Leader, the negotiations with the Felder are not going as planned. We will need to assign more forces for a quick takeover.”

It was an outer rim system, but they had farms that would suit the First Order needs with its impending growth. An attack could take out some of the vital land, the negotiations should have been easy if mixed with enough intimidation.

“I thought you said you could handle it.”

Hux had claimed he could do a lot since Snoke died. Kylo knew it was a grab for power, but he had allowed it. To a point. Hux’s failures used to make him feel smug, the little alpha always wanted to reach beyond his limits, but now Kylo felt the need to reach out and help him. 

He tried to shut down the bond, but as always it stayed steady as if to taunt him that he was not powerful enough. 

“I can, Ren, if assigned the forces needed.”

“General, I think you forgot my title.”

Kylo admonished, and Hux winced as if he was struck. He needed the title, it kept things clean between them. Ben Solo was dead, Hux was not his mate despite the fact that his body wanted nothing more than to touch him. 

“Apologies, Supreme Leader.”

The words were spoken like an insult, and Kylo could see him tense as if he was expecting a blow. Kylo hadn’t used the Force against him since the first day, and yet Hux acted like a kicked when they spoke, dog groveling and wincing. Kylo didn’t mind when it was the other officers, but somehow it bothered him with Hux. Instead of feeling proud to have his rival cowering, it felt wrong in a way that he couldn’t explain. 

It was why he made the offer that he did, the need to sooth things. After all they would have to work together if the First Order was going to run smoothly. He told himself that was the only reason. 

“I will not assign any more forces. I gave you what you need. You will just have to figure out another way to get their resources, but I will offer my personal help in the matter.” 

Hux looked at him with mistrust.

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.”


	8. Chapter 8

Hux’s shifts had been hard the last few months. For a while, Hux had adjusted to seeing Kylo masked. Knowing that the man had killed his Ben had fuelled his hatred and need to show he was better than the foolish apprentice. Now though, he had to look upon the face that looked so much like his Ben.

He’d seen Kylo Ren lying on the floor and for a moment he had thought that he could finally be free of all the mistakes he had ever made, and then he had looked at his lips. Despite what he told himself, those were Ben’s lips, the same ones he had kissed, the same ones he had dreamed about. It wasn’t so easy to kill the man that he still loved even after all this time. Though Ben was hardly more than a memory. 

Hux had tried at first, for years, risking his own life to try and see a flicker of his Ben, and yet he had never seen a hint of the mate he had had for only a few days. 

It was as if to taunt him, a monster wearing the face of his mate. Snoke had always mentioned how Hux was mateless, how he could never be a Grand Marshall until he found a mate. The words had always mocked him, a reminder that he would never be free. He couldn’t find another mate while his was still alive. Now Snoke was gone, and yet he still felt his mocking words each time he looked upon the new Supreme Leader. 

Now that Kylo Ren was properly coronated, it would harm the First Order to lose him so soon after the fall of their last Supreme Leader. They could not appear weak, and Hux told himself that as well. He would not be weak in the face of the abuses of their new leader. 

At least Kylo hadn’t harmed him since the day they took Crait, but Hux never forgot that the threat was there. His father had been the same, had known when to use force to keep fear ever present. 

Hux had been on edge for so long that he only dared think about the nights he spent with Ben when he knew that no one could read his thoughts. When he was curled deep in his bed and his quarters were locked, as was his bedroom, he dreamed of a universe where he was allowed to keep that man who seemed to belong with him. The way that Ben had laughed when he kissed his bonding scar, and the way he opened up to the barest of touches.

In the dim light of the throne room the thoughts were buried so deep that no one could touch them. Hux hated that after weeks of trying to come up with a solution for the resources he was still at the same place that he had been when he had first arrived. 

His skin felt tight with fear, knowing what Kylo Ren could do to someone who failed him, and yet he had no choice. The Supreme Leader would not give him what he needed to take the planet, he had no solution that wouldn’t cost him almost every trooper he was allowed. Even if it would have angered Kylo to do it, Hux was a good leader, he wouldn’t waste their resources out of spite. 

 

What bothered him most was that Kylo was good at leading despite the fact that he kept Hux on a leash, once the first week went by he seemed to settle into the work and flourish. That spark of intelligence he had seen in Ben had been dampened by Snoke, but now it was back. He was leading the First Order as well as Hux would have hoped to. 

“Supreme Leader, you must understand that unless we are allowed to use force, the Felder will not join the First Order.” 

Kylo let out a long sigh, looking unimpressed, but there was no use of force so Hux stood his ground. 

“Let me see the recording of your holocalls. I want to see where you went wrong.”

Hux felt his cheeks heat up in anger and he bristled under the implications that he was incompetent.

“Of course Supreme Leader.”

Kylo stood, his new robes more form fitting than the last, less likely to be something you would wear in battle and more like something a dancer might wear. They were black with gold thread woven through them, so thin that they were slightly sheer. Hux could see where his fitted leggings clung to him under it. His nipples stood out just enough that Hux’s eyes were drawn down to them, despite himself. Unlike Kylo’s old robes that covered him to the neck, this one wrapped crosswise over his chest, low enough that a deep v of skin was showing. 

Hux knew that the gold threads were made with real gold, taken from the robes of the past Supreme Leader. They had been woven into each new garment Ren wore.

Kylo brushed past him as if he didn’t know the torrent of thoughts that Hux was struggling with.

Hux followed him to one of the conference halls and he watched Kylo access the records. He pulled up all of the recordings and went down to the newest, starting there. Hux knew that was smart, that he would see the issues that had grown, and would be able to work backwards to see when they started. That was if Hux wasn’t completely confident in the work he did. 

The first call started and Hux tried to relax his jaw so he wasn’t grinding his teeth. 

It was the same frustrating call he had experienced, where they only wanted to talk to the Supreme Leader, as if they were worth it. All they wanted was a fake sense of self importance and that disgusted Hux almost more than having to grovel to them. 

The distaste only grew as it continued and he dared a look at Kylo. His expression was slightly amused, enjoying Hux’s suffering as he tried to keep the holocall on track. It only further annoyed him and he forced himself to look away from Kylo’s lips and the smirk that lay on them. 

“Could you not make them realize your importance?”

Hux felt the dig, and tensed against it. 

“I am a General in the First Order, I am no more important than any of the other Generals.”

The words felt like ash on his tongue and he knew it was all a lie, none of the others could do what he had done. No one else could rise through the ranks as quickly as he had, but he knew better than to speak back. It had taken a while for his ribs to heal, he would remember the lesson they gave. 

“Then maybe you need a new rank.”

The words hit him like lightning. Snoke had made it clear he could never rise above his rank of general, but he also knew that it would make no difference to the Felder, so he forced himself to be truthful. After all, he didn’t want to be punished when the new rank didn’t garner him any more respect. 

“I am not sure rank would change their mind. They wish only to speak to the Supreme Leader in regards to joining the First Order.”

Kylo was silent for a while, watching him as if he expected something more. 

“I will speak with them. You have done your duty, Grand Marshal.”

Hux felt the tension release from his shoulders. He would not be punished, but the understanding was almost more worrying. He hadn’t seen this side of Kylo Ren before and he wasn’t sure his new rank was any safer than his old one.

“Of course. Thank you, Supreme Leader.”


	9. Chapter 9

Dealing with the Felder reminded Kylo of one thing: how truly competent Hux was. It was always hard to remember that when Snoke was whispering in his ear, telling him how Hux was trying to undermine him. Without the whispers, Kylo saw a different person. 

Through the meetings he began to see the Hux he remembered from the time he spent with him as Ben. Intelligent, angry, and quick.

There was a lack of charm that he remembered and a cruelty to his words that reminded him of all that Snoke had said to him. Yet the words were fading, and his memories as Ben were not. The cruelty wasn’t always a part of Hux, and in some moments Kylo wanted the past to return, to see the Hux that smiled freely at him. 

He tried to keep their bond closed, but he felt Hux sometimes; how lonely he was at night, how angry he was when they spoke. He felt the betrayal firsthand and it was hard to swallow. 

Snoke was no longer Supreme Leader and Kylo wasn’t sure that he wanted to follow his choices. His growing frustration with the Felder allowed him a chance, however.

In a moment of weakness he agreed that they would continue the negotiations in person, that he and his mate would barter in their preferred manner. The resistance was forced completely into hiding and he knew they had the time. It would give him a chance to gain both the resources needed and a chance to see if Hux really was his mate or if it was time to end everything that had once been Ben. 

Without Snoke the universe felt a little more confusing, but he would make his own way through the choices he made in the past. In those moments he was really himself. 

He felt sick to his stomach as Hux finally appeared before him, summoned to his throne room. Nothing in his life has prepared him how to deal with his own thoughts and wants. All he knew was how to obey, first his parents and then Snoke. Now it was just him. 

Hux’s gait was quick and steady and reminded Kylo of all the anger he carried. He needed this to work, if only to prove that he knew what to think on his own. 

“Grand Marshal.”

Hux preened under the title, yet he still looked wary and when Kylo reached out through their bond he could feel the mistrust. 

“Supreme Leader.”

Kylo deeply felt the need to impress Hux, and yet he didn’t know where to start. So, he spoke the words he had practiced alone in his quarters.

“Where you have failed, I have dealt with two issues within the First Order. The Felder have agreed to move negotiations forward, and you will get your scheduled leave despite the First Order’s need.”

Kylo tried to make it sound like he was doing Hux a favour. 

He could feel anger through their bond, but it wasn’t all there was. Hux was curious, and wary. Kylo tried to take that as a win.

“We will be attending the negotiations as mates, as the Supreme Leader and his Grand Marshal. This will follow both the Felder’s cultural expectations, and allow you time to rest.”

The anger was deepening, and Kylo wasn’t sure how to dampen it. 

“Supreme Leader, it is hardly appropriate for you to present me as your mate as we both know that is not the case.”

Kylo couldn’t remember how many times he had told Hux that over the years, that they weren’t mates, and Hux had always argued. It felt like a cut to hear it repeated back now. He still felt confused himself, but this would allow him to spend time with Hux and see if their bond could be salvaged. Now that Snoke was no longer shielding them from each other he knew that something had to change. 

The thought of killing Hux left his stomach in knots, so he would try kindness first.

“As we both know, it is indeed the case.” 

He could see Hux swallow, but for once he had no smart quips. They both had to stew in the realization that going forward they would have to deal with the past. There was no pretending anymore. Snoke was gone and their reality was that they were and would always be linked. 

Ben might be dead, but they would have to find out how Kylo and Hux fit together.

There were no more words. Hux simply nodded and strode out of the room, there were no goodbyes or signs of respect. Kylo let it pass. He didn’t know how exactly to move forward, but he hoped that he was taking a step in the right direction. 

/

It was different now that Ren was Supreme Leader, he was expected to dress the part. The first month he hadn’t felt comfortable in the change, but now he was starting to see it as another way that he could express everything that had been hidden for so long. 

Packing for the week he would spend planetside was actually enjoyable. The new clothing he had ordered had looked better than he had hoped. 

He was packing for both himself and Hux. There would be no real uniforms, and as such he had semi-casual outfits made for both of them. Each one matched in a small way, and while he found the different fabrics and textures as a way to express himself, he knew that Hux didn’t feel the same way. So, the consort’s outfits tended to toe the line of the First Order regulations and design aesthetics. 

For the trip down he picked clothing something rather simple compared to the others. It was a red wrap shirt crafted out a silk so fine one could see the array of moles decorating his chest. Additionally there was a fine black linen robe over top, the front open enough that his nipples stood out against the fine silk. There was the same gold from Snoke’s old robes woven into the cuffs on his sleeves and lining the plunging neckline. The gold threads were a reminder of how he got where he was, they were a part of all of his new outfits. 

He may be pretending that Rey was to blame for Snoke’s death, but he knew that it was only an official excuse...everyone knew better. Plus, he found the gold suited him, and matched the thin circlet he had had made to sit upon his head.

Kylo had taken the time to oil his hair and the thick waves shone against the circlet. Even with the scar he knew he looked the part of royalty. He looked like he belonged on a throne. 

When he finished tucking the last garment into his pack he could feel both excitement and nerves about what could happen. It had been so long since he had thought about how Hux had touched him, and he knew they would be sleeping beside eachother. That night he would get to feel his mate at his side while he rested.

The thought made his stomach flop in a way that wasn’t all unpleasant. The last time they had shared a bed Hux had knotted him and held him close. Though he knew it would be different, his mind kept drifting back to his last days as Ben. The only thing that dampened his excitement was that he knew it wasn’t who he was anymore. The last time he had woken when Hux was present, Hux had his weapon drawn, ready to end Kylo’s life. 

The thought reminded him of the reality. He had spent years denying Hux, there was no reason for things to work out this time. It would likely end in one of their deaths, yet he couldn’t stop the hope that was building in his chest. 

He remembered how Hux had once held his hand, how his kisses had been so soft against the scar of their bond mark. Even with all he had done it had taken Hux years to accept that Ben was dead, and Kylo wasn’t sure that all of him was. His feelings had been hidden for so long, and yet never extinguished. 

Kylo didn’t allow himself to think on it too long, his hand rubbing over the garments one last time before locking the case. Even though it was now below him, he enjoyed the small tasks that packing brought. In his own bag he had a few gifts for Hux, but he was not sure they would ever be given. 

The gifts were still on his mind later when he was in the command shuttle. Hux was at his side in the outfit Kylo had had made for their arrival. It was close to the regular dress uniform he wore, but his grand marshal stripes were marked in gold threads taken from Snoke’s robe. It also opened at the collar and the undershirt was the same red silk that Kylo wore. Except Hux kept it done up as high as possible so the sheerness of the fabric wasn’t noticeable to anyone else. 

Only Kylo noticed Hux’s delicate collarbones through the thin fabric when he shifted in his seat. 

He wondered if Hux had always been this handsome or if he had grown into it during the years that they had been apart. His distaste over Hux’s arrogance may have flavoured his experiences, but it had been years since he had looked at Hux with anything other than loathing. It made him wonder at how deep Snoke had been in his mind. He had never remembered really seeing Hux, looking at him and seeing past the sneer that was locked onto his features to the soft pink lips that had once graced his skin. 

Kylo had to look away to hide the heat that was rising in his face at the memories. He had been with other students before he became Snoke’s apprentice. But after his bonding, no one else had touched him.

He wasn’t sure if this was a mistake, but a large part of him hoped it wasn’t. It was a weakness, but he had found that killing his weaknesses only made the hurt deeper. The scar from his father cut deeper than the one that marred his face. 

“I hope you are prepared, Grand Marshal.”

Kylo spoke into the silence. 

It was meant to check on Hux, to make sure he was okay with what was about to happen, but he could feel the stilted manner in which he delivered it. It had been so long since he had tried to be kind, he felt like his attempt fell flat. 

“I have read all the material that was requested of me, as well as all the First Order had on the Felder. I can assure you I am adequately prepared.”

The response was stiff and Kylo leaned back in his seat, knowing that he went wrong but not really sure where. They had a week, he would try harder.


	10. Chapter 10

Hux had joined the Supreme Leader with the knowledge that this trip was going to be an attempt on his life. There was no other reason why more than the Supreme Leader was needed for such a small system. He was a survivor, and he had prepared for the need to escape, but he also knew that the Force was more than he could fully understand.

Why else would Kylo mock him with the idea that they would act as mates? It had been so long that the idea ached in a way that he forgot that he could hurt. Hux had wished so many times they could act as mates and now he was sure the offer was only there to entice him to his death. Even if it wasn’t, he wasn’t sure he wanted Kylo. Ben was who he yearned for.

The only reassurance he had was that since Snoke’s death, Kylo had seemed steadier. Hux wondered how much of Kylo’s outbursts had been by Snoke’s hand.

The way that Kylo was dressed only further confused him. Ben had never flaunted his beauty in such a way, but if he had, Hux would have worshiped at his feet. Kylo’s bottom lip was coloured red to match the bit of nothing shirt he wore. His nipples were obvious against the sheer fabric and Hux had to avert his eyes from the inconspicuous indecency.

Hux felt that it was a death march as he walked onto the shuttle and seated himself next to Kylo. Except instead of the normal hostility he expected, he was only given minor questions about the Felder and then silence. It was almost as if Kylo felt uncomfortable with the idea of them pretending to be mates as he did.

It only made Hux more wary when they landed and the greeting went as expected. There had been no surprise attack, or strange food offered, and it made him think that that night would be the end.

After going through the greeting outlined in the readings, they were led to a banquet hall where they were expected to share a meal to show their willingness to join together as friends. Hux felt the whole thing was ridiculous, but he also understood that Kylo was determined to do this without violence. Not that Hux understood why. They had the power, they should wield it.

Instead he held his tongue. He was a survivor, Hux would do what was needed to make it through this.

He used the chance to watch Kylo, to see how he was when it wasn’t just the two of them.

They were seated together, so he noticed each movement Kylo made. The shift in the seat, the way his legs stretched out under the table. Finally, Kylo removed his gloves, revealing his long fingers. Hux remembered those fingers entwined with his own once upon a time. 

He didn’t join him in removing his gloves though, preferring to maintain the separation from his surroundings. He didn’t want to join these people in anything they did, but he also knew the importance of being political. He had worked for his rank.

What was most confusing was how Kylo was acting. He was acting warm with these aliens, as if they were old friends.

“This is a wonderful feast you have prepared for us, thank you. You honor us.”

Hux almost wanted to say that he was not honored by the spread, just to spite Kylo, but he held his tongue. Instead he quietly nodded like the good mate he was playing at. 

He was watching each dish, making sure their hosts ate from them before partaking. A few times he served Kylo from the same plate just to make sure that they ate the same things.

Kylo seemed a little flustered by his actions, and as Hux picked the best parts to lay on Kylo’s plate, Kylo leaned into his side.

“Thank you.”

He whispered against Hux’s ear.

“Of course, Supreme Leader.”

“No need for titles here.”

The words were a gentle reminder of the game he had to play.

A hand rested on his wrist for a moment and then it was gone again. The touch was enough to make him pause. Kylo hadn’t purposefully touched him since Ben ‘died’. Even through the fabric Hux felt as if his mate had laid his hands on his bare skin.

The night was giving him whiplash. No plot to kill him yet in sight, instead just a dinner with small talk. It only set him further on edge.

“Of course, Kylo, it is the least I can do.”

This whole night felt like a nightmare, Hux just wanted to be free of whatever game Kylo was playing with him. He could feel Kylo’s calm through their bond, a bond that had been dead for years and was now taunting him.

Even with the tension he felt, Hux’s eyes wandered away from the ambassadors. Instead he looked over the dark moles that scattered over Kylo’s chest under the sheer red fabric. Hux had kissed each one, long ago, and yet as he saw them for the first time since he had been with Ben he felt as if it had only happened days ago.

Hux reminded himself again that Ben was dead before taking a bite from the dish. He was a survivor, he would not be distracted by the new Supreme Leader. He would stay true to the First Order.

/

Though it had taken a few excuses, Hux had managed to get out of dancing with the locals after dinner. He wasn’t sure he could wrap his arms around Kylo and still manage to be objective. He knew his own weaknesses and would not allow them to be his fall.

The room he was led to looked fit for a king. It was so much more than his mostly barren quarters back on the ship. The floors were carpeted with the pelts of a beast so soft that Hux took off his socks just to feel the silky warmth between his toes. The walls were painted a sable brown that complimented the pelts without copying them. There was also art like he had never seen before hung over the walls, a masterful riot of color and movement. it was not at all like anything he had seen in his imperial classics class.

He was not often impressed by pomp, but he felt that the room fit both the respect he had earned, and was not overdone in a manner one might expect for the mate of the Supreme Leader. Hux had stayed in his old quarters even after his title change, but he understood how every single part of their visit reflected on the respect that was shown.

It gave him a false sense of ease, and he looked through the luggage that was picked for him, hoping that there were adequate pajamas hidden somewhere under all the multicoloured uniforms. He tried not to think too much about the fact that there was more luggage here than just his own. Instead he forced himself to be single-minded in his search.

Hux almost sighed in relief when he found his regular First Order issue pajamas. It felt good to get out of the slippery silk and dress in soft cotton, the first time he felt safe and normal on the trip. He climbed into bed and let out a long groan. It felt good to rest.

That feeling was taken away from him as soon as the door opened.

Kylo was still in his robes, looking resplendent as he stood in the filtered light from the hallway. His robes had lost a little bit of their stiffness and they gaped open even further, showing an indecent amount of Kylo’s chest. His hair was tumbling over his shoulder and his eyes seemed to sparkle in the low light. It was enough to get lost in.

“I hope you are satisfied with our accommodations.”

Hux’s mouth felt dry. He hadn’t thought they would be together during the night. Not really, the idea had passed through his mind, but with the luggage and Kylo slowly walking into the room with his robes flowing around him, Hux knew he would have to sleep next to his mate.

“They are adequate.”

He managed to get out before turning his back to Kylo. It was dangerous but he needed a moment to pull himself together. He would be stone in the face of whatever this was.

“I hope you don’t mind that we will be sharing quarters. It makes our act easier to believe. Besides, It was easier to keep one room secured, and the Order can’t afford to lose either of us right now.”

Kylo sounded unsure, which wasn’t something that Hux heard often. Hux turned over so he could see Kylo, his face was always so easy to read. He wasn’t sure if the talk about his protection was to give him a false sense of security, but the look on Kylo’s face convinced him. He wasn’t going to check their bond, it still felt strange to have it back over the last few months.

“Of course, Supreme Leader.”

“Please, call me Kylo.”

Now Kylo looked as unsure as he sounded, his hands coming down to rest on the sash tied around his waist. Hux was sure he shouldn’t be watching but he couldn’t take his eyes away as the sash fell to the ground and Kylo let the outer robe was slip off his shoulders. The shirt was so thin he might as well be shirtless and the leggings he was wearing clung to his muscular thighs in a way that made Hux’s throat feel tight.

Kylo might as well have been nude, except this wasn’t the body Hux remembered. His omega had gotten stronger during their years apart. He has grown into his body and Hux wasn’t sure that he had ever seen anyone so handsome.

He averted his eyes again when Kylo’s hands moved to undo the flimsy shirt.

Hux heard rather than saw Kylo undress, his ears straining as he heard first one, and then another piece of clothing fall. Kylo was more than likely nude, all his clothing stripped away. There was the sounds of a click as Kylo’s bag was opened, and Hux could hardly hear past the thundering of his heart. He wouldn’t allow himself to look at Kylo, nude body shining in the darkness, as he searched through his bag.

He felt like a pervert as he desperately listened for any sound. His mind conjuring up images until he felt the weight of another body on the bed. Only then did he dare to look, seeing that although he didn’t wear the top, Kylo was wearing the bottoms to a set of first order issued pajamas.

“Did you enjoy the dinner?”

Hux had hardly eaten anything, and what he had he didn’t fully remember the taste of. The last thing he expected was to have to make small talk about it.

“It was filling.”

Kylo didn’t respond and Hux hoped that he would be freed from making any more conversation. The silence stretched on for so long he felt his eyes drifting closed, and the scent of his mate seeped into his being. He may have been uncomfortable with the situation, but his body sure wasn’t.

Kylo’s hand moved to rest over his hip and Hux looked up to see Ben’s big brown eyes. It almost felt like he was dreaming.

“I had hoped we could use this time to figure out our situation. I am not as strong as Snoke. I can’t block our bond.”

Hux almost wanted to laugh, as if there was anything between them but mistrust. He had been expecting to die until only moments ago. It was a past he had buried, and Hux wasn’t sure he could go through losing another mate.

“There is nothing between us, you made that clear years ago. Ben is dead, our bond is dead. I have no mate.”

It was hard to argue while wrapped up in blankets, half asleep, Hux’s voice was soft even if his words weren’t.

“And yet you say ‘our’ bond. I feel it, Hux. I feel how much you want your mate back at night. I can’t even sleep sometimes because of it. It’s like I am there beside you and you can’t even feel it.”

The violation of Hux’s privacy felt was like a shock. Those were the moments he thought he had to himself, a chance to grieve what never was. The thought of Kylo spying on him in his weakest moments made him lash out.

“You look into my mind? When you know how I feel about your wizardry and you expect me to want you? I will never want you. Ben was my mate! when he died, so did everything between us. I don’t want the man who killed him.”

“Hux.”

Kylo’s voice was soft, but Hux ignored it, rolling back over and pretending he was asleep even though it was obvious he wasn’t.

“Armitage.”

Hux felt a hand over the blankets, rubbing against his side. He could feel the weight of everything between them. He wasn’t sure he could ever forgive Kylo, too many things had happened. They had spent years hurting each other. A few days were hardly going to repair that. 

He kept his eyes closed and tried to ignore the touch until sleep finally did claim him


	11. Chapter 11

Kylo woke slowly. His mind was sluggish and relaxed, and he took in the scent of his mate. His mate who was curled in his arms, cheek pressed against his bare chest. Kylo didn’t even want to breathe in case it might wake him. 

Here he could pretend it was like the first time they woke together. He had forgotten how good it felt, having his Alpha touch him. It made him even more sure that Hux should be by his side. It was a thought he felt steady in, he knew that it was the right choice, and he had to make Hux see it. 

His bright hair seemed even lighter without product in it. In the morning sunlight it looked even more alive, more fiery. His eyelashes were like gold threads against his cheek, and Kylo wondered how he had managed to not see his beauty for all those years. Snoke’s manipulations must have gone deeper than he ever realized. 

Kylo brought up his hand and carefully cupped Hux’s cheek, as delicately as he could so that he wouldn’t wake him. It had been so long since he touched him, and his Alpha’s skin was softer than he remembered. Maybe it was because the memories were so old, they no longer matched the reality. 

Kylo knew he had things to do. He should he reading through the changes the Felder wanted, and yet he felt captivated as he watched his mate. He was drowning in the feeling of belonging. They had been apart so long and now he felt the ache of it. Only when Hux started to stir did he force himself to pull away and leave the bed. 

It was one of the hardest things to do, but he knew he couldn’t force it. 

He busied himself by looking through his bag, picking an outfit for the day. Their morning was free, and he hoped that Hux would join him for a walk in the gardens. It wasn’t often that they had a chance to be planetside, and the gardens had looked lovely the night before when he had spotted them from the balcony. 

This was how it should have been all those years ago; dances, lazy mornings in bed together, and walks in the gardens. Even now the concept seemed strange, but he had read a few manuals that the First Order had on courting an omega. He liked to think it was similar to courting his alpha so he memorized certain lessons and planned out gifts for the duration of the trip. 

He had to admit that he didn’t know as much about his mate as he would like to. He wasn’t sure of more than what he could get from Hux’s files, and his requests over the last few months. 

Kylo knew enough though, and he would use the information as if it was a weapon.

Armitage was sitting up in the bed; he could hear it, but Kylo didn’t turn around to look at him. Instead, Kylo calmly picked out his own outfit for the day. Burgundy leather fitted trousers, a black tunic with a deep open neck, boots, and soft gloves to match. He took his time dressing, his ears straining for any sound from Hux. Yet he was disappointed to hear nothing. 

Only when he was fully dressed did Kylo turn to face him. 

“Good morning, Grand Marshal.”

Hux gave him a tight nod, his face serious, but his hair was still messed. Seeing him in the morning was better than Kylo had expected. Hux’s clothing was rumpled and his body looked smaller without the structured First Order uniform wrapped around it. He liked how lean his alpha was. Although Hux was no longer taller than him, he still found the look attractive after all these years. 

“You are expected to join me for breakfast, and then for a walk around the estate.”

It was easier if it sounded like an order and not a request. 

“Of course.”

The reply was stiff, but Hux was spurred into action. Unlike Kylo he didn’t change in the room, instead picking out an outfit and disappearing into the refresher. 

While he waited Kylo made sure his hair was presentable, and had strapped a blaster to his thigh and his saber to his belt. Even with the ever-present guards it felt good to have his own weapons on him. 

He just finished tucking a present into the front of his tunic when he heard the door open. 

With perfect timing Hux slipped out of the fresher fully dressed. He wore an outfit that matched with Ben’s, though it was probably not on purpose and more for the fact that it was the closest thing to his uniform that was packed for him. Although the cut of the tunic was similar, the trousers were fitted, and his rank was displayed in gold. There was also a lack of padding that his regular uniform came with. The look suited him. 

Kylo held out his hand and felt victorious as Hux took it. Kylo held his hand as they left the room and the guards surrounded them, and he kept it as they sat down for breakfast, only breaking the hold when their meal was brought out and he could no longer put off letting go. 

He wanted to hold Hux’s hand until they returned to bed, and was glad for the excuse. 

He watched Hux out of the corner of his eye, waiting for him to find his first gift. It took longer than Kylo wanted to wait, but he wasn’t going to spoil the surprise. Hux’s eyes widened slightly as he took his first sip of tea, and then there was a hint of a smile before his face returned to the stony mask he always wore. 

Kylo had made sure they brought down enough Tarine tea so that Hux could have it every morning, just as he had on the Finalizer and then on the Supremacy. 

Armitage looked over at Kylo, locking eyes long enough that he knew that Hux understood, it was done on purpose. Kylo dared a smile as Hux took another sip. 

He thought breakfast went well, and although Hux hardly spoke to him, he wasn’t as stiff as he had been the day before. It was a small victory, but he would take it. The anger that usually flowed through their bond also mellowed.

Even after they finished breakfast Hux asked for another cup of tea, and they lingered while he finished it. 

Aboard the ship they would never be allowed to take time to enjoy a moment like this, and even if Hux was mostly ignoring him it felt good to be able to share the time with him. Hux had asked for the second cup purely out of enjoyment, and Kylo’s chest felt a little tighter as he watched Hux slowly sipping at it. 

Hux almost had a look of regret on his face as he set down the empty cup, but Kylo didn’t want him to get stuck on one moment. He wanted to court his alpha like he should have years ago.

Hux took his hand again and allowed himself to be led outside, and though he squinted in the sunlight, he didn’t give off any indication that he hated it. 

“My mother used to grow this.”

Hux tore off a leaf from a plant and held it in his gloved fingers, rolling it until Kylo could smell it in the air. It had a strong fresh scent, and it made his nose almost burn. 

“She would put it in her tea in the morning. Sometimes she would let me take a sip.”

Kylo almost didn’t want to speak and break the gentle moment. It was one of the most intimate details Hux had ever shared with him.

He watched Hux take the leaf between his teeth and bite off a tiny bit. Again, there was a hint of a smile before it was covered by a blank expression. 

“I will make sure the cooking staff know that for tomorrow.”

Hux let out a huff and shook his head. 

“Don’t trouble them.”

“It’s no trouble.”

It felt like the right moment and so he took his free hand and pulled out the small present he’d hidden in his clothing. It was a small pin, and sadly he had to give up Hux’s hand as he attached it to Hux’s collar. It was a carefully crafted flower, the heart of it a shard from the kyber crystal that made up the core of his lightsaber. 

He hoped Hux would understand the importance of it, but even as his hands shook, Hux seemed unaffected. 

“I made this myself when I found out that Arkanis has a flower that only blooms on the rare sunny days, often only twice during its growing season.”

What he didn’t say was that it made him think of the rare smiles he had seen from Hux, like sunshine itself. 

Hux didn’t respond, but Kylo felt as if something had changed.


	12. Chapter 12

Hux had tried to remain calm and steady all day but it was difficult. After announcing his intentions, Kylo had been treating him as if they were mates. He knew part of it was the pretense that they had to keep up: the hand holding, flirting, and time spent together; but there was more that wasn’t.

The pin on his collar has made his throat tight in the moment, but it also made him angry, as if a pin could wipe away the memory of being thrown against a wall. As if he could forget all the times they fought, and all the times Kylo had forsaken him over the years.

Yet a treacherous part of his mind was pleased. He looked at the pin and couldn’t resist touching the delicate work, knowing that his omega had made it just for him. Not really his omega, though, he reminded himself as they ate dinner together.

Those thoughts hurt almost more than any wound Kylo had inflicted on him. It had taken so long for his hope to die, and the spark of it burned him.

Unlike the morning’s simple but classy outfit, Kylo was now adorned in a teal robe so delicate he could see his moles. If that wasn’t bad enough, he wore a sheer shirt under it, so that his nipples were showing through. It was beyond indecent and Hux couldn’t take his eyes off him. He wore a sash around his waist that matched the outfit that he picked out for Hux to wear for dinner. It was a simple cut, but a deep purple, dark enough that it almost looked black depending on the light.

There were also touches of gold, and Hux almost wondered at how every colour seemed to suit him.

Kylo’s beauty was hard to ignore, and he knew he wasn’t the only one struck by his outfit. He could see how people’s eyes lingered over Kylo’s body.

A part of Hux felt like he was being held hostage, though he knew what they did was for the good of the Order. At least Kylo seemed more even since he announced his intentions. For once his worries about Kylo assassinating him were out of his mind, it was no longer the issue at hand.

Now his thoughts were only on managing to get through a repeat of the night before.

He was strong enough to stand this, he had handled working with Kylo for years. Just because he had changed a little since Snoke’s death didn’t mean that he wasn’t the same Kylo who had replaced his Ben. Hux reminded himself that this was a monster as he stood; the day meant nothing, the morning meant nothing.

They had a few drinks, and he finally felt like he could handle pretending. Though he ended up spilling one, and had to remove his gloves to keep from ruining them.

Most of the locals moved to the ballroom to celebrate. He knew he would be joining them soon enough. Kylo stayed near him, occasionally dropping a comment on how beautiful the ballroom looked. Still making the same attempts that he had made all day.

Hux tried to put it off as long as possible. He had snuck out early the night before, and he doubted that he would be allowed to repeat that.

“I suppose we should join them.”

Kylo’s voice was a gentle suggestion, but Hux knew he was the Supreme Leader, and as such there were no suggestions. Only orders to be obeyed from those sinful lips.

“I suppose.”

He held out his hand and was surprised to see that Kylo’s was bare as well.

Kylo’s hand lingered over his own. Hux couldn’t remember the last time they had touched like this, skin to skin. It sent a shock through him, and it reminded him that even if he told himself that Ben was dead, his mate was truly well and alive.

His cheeks felt hot as Ben... no, Kylo... led him the rest of the way into the ballroom so that they could join the dancers. Unlike the night before, they knew the drill and when Kylo pulled him close, Hux slipped an arm around his waist and started to move with him.

It almost felt as if he had his mate back, as if the last few long, dreadful years had all just been a nightmare. But he knew that the present situation was only a dream and that the nightmare was his reality, lying in wait with gaping jaws for their return to the ship.

Kylo’s gold and teal robes flowed around him like water as they danced together and he looked every inch a proper Supreme Leader. Without even looking, he knew that people were watching him. Hux couldn’t tear his eyes away either.

 

 

His plush lower lip caught Hux’s attention again. There was a hint of gold dusted over it, catching the light as they spun.

It made Hux feel sick. He wanted Ben so much in moments like this, and holding Kylo was only a reminder of what he had lost. Only his strict training kept him steadily in place; he had gone through worse. He tried to keep a pleasant and professional expression on his face as Kylo pulled him in a little closer.

He could smell his omega’s scent now that he no longer wore the scent patches, and this close it was hard to ignore completely. It was the same scent, even after everything it was the same as his Ben.

Hux tripped over the next step which only made Kylo pull him closer.

“Are you alright?”

Hux gave a tight nod.

“It’s been a while since I last danced.”

“I would never have known that. You move so gracefully.”

Kylo looked embarrassed, like it was hard for him to actually compliment Hux, not that it seemed to stop him.

“Thank you, sir.”

The words were clipped.

A look of frustration crossed Kylo’s face and then it relaxed again. Hux felt a bit of pride that he could still get under his skin like that.

The rest of the dances they passed in silence, with only a comment or two about the others. The silence was easier. He could just concentrate on the steps and play the part of a loving and cordial mate.

Not that it was a simple task. Not when his mate was Kylo.

His body was already yearning for the upcoming evening when they would lay together again.


	13. Chapter 13

Kylo felt like he was drunk as he walked back to their room, his hand in Hux’s. He never wanted any barrier between them ever again. He simply wanted to feel Hux’s bare skin against his own. It was too soon though, he knew that. And while he might not actually be drunk, Hux had been teetering on the edge of it since dinner and Kylo needed to know that if Hux is going to choose him, that he was choosing him in his right mind. 

As desperate he was to be able to scent Hux, and smell his mate on his skin again, Kylo would have to learn to be satisfied with what he had already gained: the hand in his own and Hux’s grudging willingness to share a bed. It would have to be enough until Hux realized what he had. That they should be together, like they had been all those years ago. 

They had danced for hours until there was no longer an excuse to keep them out on the floor, and then Kylo had offered his hand and requested they retire for the night. Since their skin had touched, he hardly noticed the guards. Kylo had found it hard to concentrate on much else other than Hux. 

“I think someone was watching you.”

“How could they not, with such a handsome alpha in my arms.”

Hux scoffed, and finally released his hand as they entered their shared quarters. Kylo felt as off-balance as he had all night. He wasn’t very skilled in courting as his past experiences were limited to his bonding, and a few flirtations with the other students while he had trained under his uncle. He couldn’t figure out how to show Hux just what they could be together, although he was trying his hardest.

He was pleased though that despite the fact that Hux had changed outfits for dinner, he still wore the pin on his collar. 

The longer Kylo spent with him the more he was sure that they were well-suited and that it wasn’t just the bond. 

He saw it when they danced and their bodies moved as one, and during the negotiations. Now that they weren’t competing for Snoke’s loyalty, Hux was more thoughtful. During the talks he would speak for the good of the Order, and the skills that Kylo lacked Hux had been groomed into since he was a child. They fit together, complimented one another, and the more Kylo was with him the more it became clear. 

He was sure that the Force must had led them to each other, because he couldn’t believe he had picked the perfect mate on a whim. He just hoped that it would lead Hux back to him. Thinking back on their past Kylo felt they hadn’t just fit together when they were young, they fit each other through every stage of their lives.

Hux didn’t speak until the doors were shut and it was just the two of them again. 

“Beyond that, it wasn’t someone awed by aliens. I saw his eyes tracking you.” 

“You worry too much. The Force hasn’t told me anything, we are safe. You are here to rest.”

Kylo ran his hands down the front of his robe and loosened the belt, letting it slowly slip from his hips so that the robe fluttered open. He wished Hux would look at him, standing in just the sheer shirt and leggings with the robe framing him. 

Hux wasn’t looking, though. He was only staring at his bare hand where they had touched. 

It gave Kylo hope, and he moved into the room quickly so that his robe would open further, drawing attention back to him. 

Hux finally looked at him, scowling slightly as he took in the sight. Kylo felt a hint of need and grief, and he tried not to let it show how much it meant to him. Under all the anger Hux still wanted him. 

“I don’t understand the Force, but I trust my training.”

Kylo managed to suppress the need to argue and instead gave a tight nod.

“I’ll make sure our guards are informed of your concerns. I take your safety seriously.”

“You have a funny way of showing it, Supreme Leader.”

There were so many words he wanted to say, but first he had to make sure Hux would listen. 

“Snoke’s abilities made things unclear to me, but now that he is gone, I realize that I made the right choice when I asked you to be my mate.”

Hux looked away from him, back to his hand and he clenched his fist as if trying to rub off Kylo’s touch. He kept his back turned to Kylo and that frustrated him. He wanted to see his expression. He wasn’t as good at reading him as he used to be, but his expressions were easier than the hints he was getting through their bond.

“Ben asked me, I wanted him. I never wanted you.”

“I haven’t forgotten how you used to talk to me, how you would beg me to talk to you. I’m trying, Armitage. I just want you to give me a chance.”

“I’ve given you hundreds of chances, and each time you told me the same thing. Ben is dead, and you were right. There isn’t a day that I don’t grieve for him, but I won’t fall for whatever trick this is. I am not going to lose a second mate.”

“You haven’t lost me. I’m still here.”

Hux didn’t speak again, instead he stepped away to the refresher, letting the closing door end the conversation. Kylo changed and got into bed, watching the time tick away as he waited for Hux’s return. He thought about how their time on the planet was coming to an end and he still hadn’t managed to get Hux to see him as he was now. Kylo almost wished that the negotiations weren’t so simple, that they would have longer here together but he knew it was impossible. 

They would be back on the ship soon, and there he wouldn’t have an excuse to hold Hux’s hand. 

Sleep took him before the door opened again.


	14. Chapter 14

After the evening when they had danced together, things had been tense. It was as if touching Kylo was enough to chip through the ice that Hux had spent years building. It was hard to keep insisting that Ben was dead when his bond told him otherwise.

At night he slept better than he had in years, in the mornings it felt like time had turned back. He woke to the scent of his omega in his bed. He could smell him on his skin no matter how long he showered, and it felt right. In the mornings he had the tea he always enjoyed, yet Kylo made sure it was spiced just like his mother has made it, and as he drank it Kylo would look at him with the same expressions he had seen before. The same ones that Ben had when they first met.

Kylo also seemed to take any chance he could to hold Hux’s hand, and it felt right to have his hand engulfed by his omega’s.

It all made Hux’s chest ache.

He could hardly wait to leave this planet in only a few more hours. He would find a reason, make excuses, why he had to be away from the Supreme Leader so he could be free of all these feelings that were choking him.

Hux wouldn’t give in to the hope that was building despite his best efforts. Kylo wasn’t Ben, but he sounded like him, he looked like him, and sometimes over the last few days Hux could see that he acted like him. Under all the grand gestures and pomp there was the same shy smile that Ben used to give him when he was hoping he pleased him. The same wide eyes as he watched Hux, and the same tremble in his bottom lip.

It made Hux think that maybe Kylo wasn’t lying when he said that he wanted his mate again, but Hux wasn’t one to be fooled twice.

He still remembered Crait. He remembered the bruises on his ribs. Hux knew Kylo had used the Force to soften the blow; he’d seem others die from similar attacks. But that only meant that Kylo knew he needed Hux. Either way, Hux used that memory to keep from making any mistakes.

It was harder to remember, when Kylo entered their quarters bringing a simple breakfast on a tray. His hair was down and styled simply, the curls framing his face with his hair clipped up on the side, showing off one of his ears.

Hux had been fond of those oversized ears, that at first, he hardly noticed the low-cut robe and the lack of an undershirt.

Indecent, Hux noted as one of Kylo’s nipples peeked out when he moved forward. Hux’s eyes lingered, and he couldn’t believe how big Kylo had gotten. There was so much strength to him now, and his traitorous mind made him think of how it would be to have all that under him. If it had been anyone else he would have admitted that the sight of the bare chest aroused him.

His cheeks were hot as he seated himself at the small breakfast table. It wasn’t much, but there was a view out the window that he could distract himself with.

“I hope you don’t mind that I requested we spend our last morning alone. Our hosts relented.”

Hux had already gathered that by the tray, but he held back any snippy comments. He didn’t need to add to the tension.

“That is acceptable.”

Kylo sat the tray down and then carefully arranged the meal in front of Hux. It was reminiscent of how he had taken care of Ben in their short time together. Providing him with all he could at the time. Hux closed his eyes and wished he was anywhere else.

It was too much. He needed space to be able to repress the emotions that Kylo was stirring. He could feel hope through their bond, and he tried to tell himself it was a lie as well.

“I almost wish we had longer.”

Kylo spoke as he seated himself, and Hux forced himself to open his eyes and look at the meal.

It was his favourites, the things he had enjoyed the most over the last few days. Not that he had told anyone, but maybe Kylo had felt it. Hux shook off the feeling, and told himself it was a fluke as he started nibbling on the fruit.

“I, for one, look forward to being busy. I feel agitated having nothing to do.”

He could feel their bond opening up. Kylo was searching to see if what he said was true. It was an odd feeling; he had been so used to the emptiness where their bond should be. Since Snoke’s death it had returned and brought all this confusion with it. He didn’t want to be joined to Kylo like this.

“I don’t think you do.”

Kylo’s voice was so soft, and had that same unsure tone that Ben used to speak in. It didn’t sound like Kylo, full of anger and conviction; it was the unsure steps of a young man who had picked him out of all the universe.

When Kylo’s hand came to rest on his own he didn’t pull away. He could pretend this was a moment between him and Ben.

He could feel his muscles relaxing. It was almost addictive to feel his mate’s touch, and he tried to remember that it was these same hands that threw him, but his mind was occupied with the thought of how well his hand fit under Kylo’s.

“I want this to continue if you will allow it. It doesn’t have to be more, yet, but please think about it.”

Hux didn’t speak and he could see Kylo’s shoulders sag a little.

“Just don’t say no yet.”

“Alright.”

Kylo took his hand back and started on his breakfast, the mood heavy as they ate. Hux wasn’t ready to think about it, so he tried to keep busy with eating. He even agreed to go for one last walk around the gardens.

Again, he saw someone out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t bother to say anything. Kylo already thought he was overly suspicious. Instead he looked at the flowers and herbs and thought of how nice it would be to have a proper hydroponics bay on the Supreme Leader’s flagship.

The light thoughts were put out of his mind though when it was time to leave. They would be going back to reality, and he would have to accept that things had changed. The small command shuttle felt like a prison and his chest felt tight as he took a seat and buckled in. Normally Kylo would be hovering over his men, but today he sat next to Hux, taking his hand in his own.

“We’re taking a small detour, I hope you don’t mind.”

“What is the purpose?”

“I thought perhaps you would enjoy seeing the new First Order shipyard.”

Hux almost smiled. Kylo did know him, maybe better than Ben ever would.


	15. Chapter 15

Kylo had worried that things would go back to how they were before the moment they stepped onto the command shuttle. 

Yet Hux was holding his hand. 

He wasn’t just allowing his hand to be held, he was actively holding Kylo’s hand in return. 

It made him hope that Hux understood as clearly as he did, that they were meant to be together. 

Even if it just meant that Hux wasn’t ready to reject him yet, he would take it. They had hope. 

“I want you to be pleased with the shipyard. I would like to hear your thoughts once we finish the tour.”

He knew that Hux was behind the original plans for the shipyard; it was part of the research he did. Though, Kylo hadn’t expected to be so nervous. Hux hadn’t said no and that was more than he had expected. 

Kylo felt a small squeeze on his hand and it was enough to make his heart skip a beat.

Here they didn’t have to pretend to be together, and yet Hux still hadn’t pulled away from him. This was more momentous than all the interactions they shared together on the planet. This time it was given willing. 

Kylo had never really felt like this, hoping someone would want him. The only time he bonded he did it partly out of spite and partly just to do something that was his own choice. The flings he had with the other Jedi trainees had just been to pass the time, and then when he had met up with Hux again there was no doubt that Hux would take care of him. Now so much had happened, so much he couldn’t undo. 

He might know that Snoke was at the root of his actions, but he also knew that he was still the one who acted them out against Hux. He had to take responsibility for that.

Kylo hoped Hux would allow him to make up for it, that there was a chance that he could still make up for it. The fact that Hux had also acted against him in the past was a cold reassurance. If Hux returned to him they would both have moments that would always haunt them. 

Even when Hux requested a data pad so he could work, he didn’t take his hand back as if both of them were afraid that if they stopped holding hands, they wouldn’t be able to start again. So Hux awkwardly balanced the pad on his lap while he scrolled and made notes with his left hand. He seemed just as adept at it as he was working with his right hand, and Kylo couldn’t stop watching him.

Kylo normally hovered over his pilot, but now he didn’t feel the need. He was too caught up in how soft Hux’s hair was compared to normal, how he had bangs falling over his forehead and how his pale eyelashes looked almost translucent. When something annoyed him, Hux’s soft lips would pinch, and he would get one wrinkle between his brows. Kylo wanted to kiss it away, and ease the stress from his expression. 

He rubbed his thumb over the back of Hux’s hand, glad that it was bare again. There was so many things he hadn’t done in years. Now that Kylo was his own person he wanted those things back. It almost felt wrong, the thought of doing something just because he enjoyed it. 

“I hope we can continue our morning walks when we return.”

The corner of Hux’s lips turned up, almost a real smile. 

“When will we have the time?”

The question was softer than Kylo expected, as if he might actually want the time.

“I’m the Supreme Leader. If I can’t take the time to walk first shift what is the point of having the universe at heel?”

Another hint of a smile from Hux. It felt better than anything in all his years under Snoke, knowing that at least something was getting through to Hux. He tried not to let himself hope, but it was too late for that. Every time Hux spoke without hatred, hope bloomed inside him. 

“I suppose I could make time for a stroll on the bridge before my shift.”

“You’re a Grand Marshal, you can do whatever you want.”

Hux still preened under the title, but it hadn’t been a gift; Hux had earned it. It was long past due and Snoke had only held back to keep Hux always working for his approval. 

Kylo wondered how he ever could have been blinded to Hux’s beauty, as it was hard to look away from it now.

The feeling that something was wrong hit him like a wave and before he recovered, he could suddenly see a ship out of the viewport in front of them. 

The first impact of plasma shook him in his seat, and he was grateful they were belted in as he was thrown in his seat. He could hardly collect himself before the second caused an explosion at the helm and he saw the limp way the pilot was hanging in his seat. 

Without a second thought Kylo unbuckled and bolted across the small space of the cockpit, removing the body from the seat and taking its place. They should have seen the ship coming; his men were trained better than that. This ship was better than that. Kylo didn’t have time to think of that now though, the controls were still burning and he had to get Hux to safety. 

He used the force to kill the life in the flames, but the panel still burned his fingers as he took control. There was no time to wait, and he had to reach out with the Force to stop the next shot from hitting them, it was hard to control the attack with the pain in his hands, but the ship wasn’t moving properly, even if they got far enough away, he could see the hyperdrive wasn’t online.

“We can’t jump, the hyperdrive-”

He managed to dodge a few of the next attacks, but even with his exceptional piloting abilities the weapons seemed to be able to get through their shields. They wouldn’t be able to take much more. 

“I’m on it.”

Hux’s voice was muffled, but Kylo couldn’t take the time to look behind him. He had to concentrate on the ship in front of them, their only way out was winning was battle.


	16. Chapter 16

It had been a while since Hux had worked on a ship himself, but he knew this one intimately. He had worked on the plans for Kylo’s command shuttle, an effort to keep Ben safe... in a way, it was a love letter. A love letter that he knew every word of, even after all this time. He’d built in a bypass, and if one or more of the power cells were damaged the ship could run on just one. They would be able to do short jumps, still within range, but it would give them an advantage, a dangerous advantage but if he could trust anyone in battle it would be Kylo. It was all he could do from the inside, but it would be enough.

His hands were steady as he opened the panel and took a look at the damage. It was better than he expected, given time he might be able to get it fully online. Right now though, they didn’t have time, so he got to work. 

Hux was used to having to keep calm when things were hectic, so he closed his mind to the battle going on outside and for once used his bond to calm him. Kylo felt confident on the other side, and as long as he felt that confidence he could focus on what was in front of him. 

It had been years since he had looked over the ship, and even longer since he worked on the schematics yet he was sure of every move he made. He was as confident in his work as his mate was of his flying. Though some of the burned out parts marked his fingers with blisters he kept his mind purely on the next step. 

As soon as he finished, he shouted. 

“Short hyperspace jumps only.”

He was already on his way to his seat when he saw space warp slightly outside the viewports. He was buckled into his seat by the time the second jump shook the ship. Watching the viewport made him feel almost sick at the speed Kylo moved. It was one thing that always awed him, watching Kylo in action.

He’d seen it from the outside, watching him in the Silencer, and yet it never really hit him how it would look from the inside. He was amazed the gunner could keep up, firing off shots between each small jump. 

The attackers had worked through the shields and were chipping off the hull. One of their weapons fired and for one stunning moment the plasma hung in space as if pinned there until they made a quick movement out of the way. 

Hux could feel victory edging nearer when they jumped again, but they pulled out too close.

They slammed into the other ship hard enough that he could feel his seatbelt cutting into his skin. It stole the breath from him. Hux was dazed as he watched the panel burning as it was crushed in on itself. 

His bond was silent, the same way it had been when he had found Kylo unconscious in the snow. Hux needed to see him now so he tried to unlock the buckle. Hux’s hands were shaking and he failed twice. He couldn’t go through that again, he needed to know Kylo was okay.

Hux regretted the time he denied Kylo. If he lost him now, he would never get to kiss him again.

His eyes tracked to the view screen as he crossed the space, making sure there was no sign of life within the other ship. The enemy ship seemed so small now with the front blasted away by the crash. Small and insignificant. Hux felt fire in his veins over the fact that something so unimpressive had nearly taken himself and Kylo out.

As badly as Hux needed to check on Kylo, he didn’t want to see how Kylo looked. He still remembered the sick feeling in his stomach when he had seen him bleeding out in the snow, years ago. His side was open and the snow had been stained dark by his blood. Hux had held his hand in the shuttle and Kylo hadn’t been awake to take it away. It had been the first time he had really touched Ben since he had become Kylo, and part of him had thought it would be the last. He had cried over Kylo then, even though he knew Ben was lost to him. 

Yet Kylo had survived and Hux told himself that Kylo would survive this time as well. He had to.

Even though he braced himself he felt sick again as he saw Kylo hanging in his seat. The pretty robes he wore were slashed open and there were small pieces of the busted panel embedded in his skin. Nothing looked too deep, just surface wounds and Hux was thankful. Though there was burns to match, if he got bacta on them they were unlikely to scar. 

He carefully ran his sore hands over Kylo’s face and then his scalp, feeling for any bumps. There was a small one starting on the back of his head, probably what had knocked him unconscious. Unable to help himself he pressed a kiss to his forehead, just in case it was his last. he felt the need to express his true feelings, even if it might be too little too late.

Although he wanted nothing more than to stay with Kylo and tend to him, he knew getting to safety had to be their first concern. If anyone other than the pilot of the enemy ship knew of this attack there would likely be others on their way to clean up. 

The navigation panel was unusable after being crushed in and he had to quickly set up his pad to act as a backup. It took a bit to get it working, nothing fancy, but he was able to plot in a course. 

Once it was set, he checked the gunner. There was more damage on this side of the ship and the unfortunate man was crushed into the panel. His lower half was just so much of a mess, and Hux couldn’t find a pulse. 

He wished he could stay and check the enemy ship over, but saving himself and Kylo was more important. He ran a quick scan to get the information he could. Other than that, Hux could only hope that they would get to a star destroyer before whoever attacked them had time to send in reinforcements. 

The good news was that there were no leaks in the hull, and they could keep moving. Hyperspace was out of the question for now, but he could hide them until he got it working. Either that or he could simply hide until someone came looking for them. 

It took him a moment to scan the nearby planets, looking over each one. Though there was one that would be comfortable, it would also be the most likely one to be searched. So, he picked the third most habitable. The gasses would mask their signature, and there was enough foliage that the shuttle wouldn’t be seen from space. He would need a helmet outside, but at least there was water he could filter. 

It was hard to bring them down through the atmosphere and ignore that Kylo was right beside him, ignore that his mate needed him. The only thing that kept him from being distracted was his training. 

The second the ship settled down though, he set down the pad and turned to Kylo.

It was hard seeing him like this, knowing how close he was to losing him. The fear reminded him of an unfortunate truth: he cared about Kylo as much as he had loved Ben. It was different, but maybe different didn’t have to be a bad thing.

Hux carefully undid Kylo’s seatbelt and undid the ties on the sides of his robe. It slipped the rest of the way open and fully exposed his body. 

Hux was relieved to see that there wasn’t more damage to his body, although he knew he would have to scan him to make sure there was no internal injuries that he couldn’t see. 

Even though he had seen him in worse condition it made his chest ache to see his omega hurt. 

It was difficult, but he left Kylo momentarily to fetch the first aid kit, which he had had the foresight to also spruce up. Now he was thankful for his own care those years ago, making sure the ship was assigned a restock of the officer’s kit, instead of the basic kit. 

Once he returned with it he used the scanner to check Kylo over. It was basic, but it could tell him that Kylo had four broken ribs, and surprisingly, no internal bleeding. What worried him more though was the slight fracture in Kylo’s skull. Though his brain showed no signs of swelling, Hux knew what the danger could be. 

Hux didn’t allow himself to dwell, not when there were things to be done, so he took out the tweezers and carefully started pulling the metal fragments out of Ben’s skin. It was a dozen pieces in total, nothing too bad, but once they were out he would be able to cover the burns in bacta. The only problem was that he wanted Kylo in a laying position. As he currently was, his head was hanging to the side of his seat’s headrest.

They were both going to be dealing with serious whiplash from the crash. Hux could already feel it in his neck and shoulders. He didn’t want to add to it with leaving Kylo in a slumped posture. Plus, he remembered what the med tech told him all those years ago: that Kylo would heal better with his alpha beside him. 

Even as he lay there unconscious, the width of Kylo’s chest made Hux’s breath hitch. As much as he appreciated the size of Kylo, he was not some lightweight omega that Hux could easily carry to the officer’s quarters. It took a minute but he unscrewed one of the back panels that covered the ship, and then he tried as carefully as he could to get Kylo on it, using the panel as a sort of sled that could be dragged along. 

It slid across the floor easily enough even though it made the most awful screech. Not that it bothered Kylo at all, though.

Once he got to the officers’ quarters Hux’s arms and legs felt shaky, and getting Kylo into the bed only made it worse. 

He felt a little better though seeing Kylo laid out in a relatively comfy bed, now ready for his bacta treatment. 

Hux prepared Kylo by cutting away his clothing, leaving him in his underwear, and than carefully rubbed the bacta over the multiple wounds in his chest. It felt good on his own burnt hands as well and for the first time since the attack, he took a deep, steadying breath. 

“We’re going to get through this.”

He said out loud, knowing that now that he was starting to get his mate back, he wasn’t prepared to lose him all over again. They would get through this. There was no other option.


	17. Chapter 17

Kylo woke slowly, his whole body aching. There were so many points of soreness that he couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. It felt similar to when he first started training under Snoke, so he did the same thing he did then. He concentrated on the worst of it first, the nausea and the ache in his head. Slowly he brought a hand up to feel the center of the pain. There was a lump, but the skin wasn’t broken. It could have been worse. 

He couldn’t take a breath without it hurting, which gave him slight concern, but he’s healed broken ribs before; he knew what they felt like. The thing that seemed out of place was that he was in a soft bed.

Last he remembered was piloting the ship, but when he opened his eyes he could see red hair pressed up against his cheek, and the inside of the commander’s private room.

Hux was tucked up against his side, not touching his chest, which Kylo could see was covered in the residue of bacta cream. Despite how ill he felt, excitement shot through him at the closeness. His alpha had stayed with him, and had cared for him.

Seeing that they were in the command shuttle still, he knew that they had to be safe. At least for now, Hux had done enough to save them. 

Kylo brought his hand up, and though he was sore it felt worth it to be able to brush the hair out of Hux’s face. He’d been dreaming about this, yet he had never imagined it would really happen. Especially not like this.

Hux’s eyelashes fluttered open and he groaned as he rolled over. The movement made Kylo realize he wasn’t dressed in anything other than his underwear. The fact that his body ached helped him ignore the more lewd thoughts that leapt into his mind. 

“What is the situation?”

Just a few words and his neck, jaw, and lungs hurt. It almost wasn’t worth having Hux beside him. Almost. 

“We hit the other ship, but their hull was weaker than ours. I didn’t want to send out a message to the star destroyer in case anyone was listening while we were defenseless. We’re hiding on a nearby planet until a ship is sent out to find us. The gunner died in the crash. You have a concussion, whiplash, and a few broken ribs...but that is the worst of it.”

Hux listed off each fact in a business-like manner, as if they weren’t in their underwear together. As if they weren’t curled into a bed together like they had been years ago. 

“And you?”

Hux’s lips pulled up into a smile. He looked so soft like this, so unlike the stern, cold General he’d known for years. 

“I’m fine. I’ll have a few bruises and I’m a little sore, but it’s nothing compared to how I used to get after training.”

Kylo regretted all the choices he made leading up to this. He should have allowed for escorts, but just the two of them and a bare staff allowed him to pretend it was the past. He wanted to show Hux what he had helped create. It almost cost him everything. Kylo would never be foolish enough to risk his mate again if they got through this.

“How long?”

“You’ve slept most the day. They should start looking for us by the end of the cycle.” 

Kylo felt his heart sink. He was going to have to admit his foolishness out loud.

“It might be longer than that. I kept the visit under wraps because I hoped we could add an extra day. I hoped to spend a little more time with you, without the pressure of the First Order upon us.”

Hux’s brows drew downwards. He looked annoyed.

“You wanted to leave the leader of the First Order without an escort for two days? That is a terrible abuse of safety protocols. You are too important to the Order, I hope you don’t intend to ever leave a hole in your security like this again. I would not be in the right mind to run the Order if I lost you.”

Hux’s tone was scolding, but the last few words made it worth any amount of reprimand. Kylo never thought he would hear Hux admit that he wanted Kylo alive more than he wanted the First Order to himself. 

“I just wanted to be with you, show you what we could be together.”

Now that he was waking Hux pulled the blankets down around Kylo’s waist and Kylo watched him look over the burns and the little cuts that resided there. Hux touched a scabbed-over cut and frowned. 

“You foolish thing, you could have just asked.”

The words held no venom. 

Kylo almost asked him to return when Hux slipped out of the bed, and he felt slightly defeated. Even when he tried to fix things he made them worse, and Kylo wasn’t sure how he could apologize for this. It was hard to think past the pain in his skull and the nausea.

He couldn’t find the words so he just watched Hux leave. He could see the bruises where the seat belt had dug into him, and he was thankful Hux was wearing it. 

Kylo hadn’t seen him in so little clothing in a long time, and his eyes took in his thin frame. It was almost the same as when they first met. He was a little softer around the middle, but in a way, Kylo liked that.

Hux didn’t leave though, he just walked to the desk where the first aid kit was sitting and looked through it. Kylo recognized a bottle as a bacta cream, and to his surprise Hux brought it back to him. He crawled back into bed and started to slowly rub the cream into Kylo’s chest, he was mindful of the broken ribs and kept his touch as gentle as he could. 

His alpha was touching him. Not only willingly, but to make sure that he healed well. 

“Until we are rescued, this is the best I can manage. How do you feel?”

“I’ll survive.”

The corner of Hux’s mouth pulled up.

“I care about more than just your survival.”

Kylo had heard those words so long ago, as a different person. It had meant so much to him back then, and it meant even more now. So he spoke honestly.

“I feel like I might get sick, and I’m tired, but the pain is manageable. It’s better with you here.”

Hux finished with his chest and took one of his hands, slowly rubbing more of the cream into his burns.

“You should rest. I will stay by your side.”

The way Hux said it, it almost sounded as if it were a threat. But Kylo understood his mate enough to know that it was a promise.


	18. Chapter 18

Hux was nervous about how the nights would go. The first night Kylo had been asleep, Hux had stayed by his side to see to it that Kylo remained safe and stable. This night, he could pretend his reasons were the same. Almost witnessing Kylo die again reminded him of how he couldn’t live without him. Even if it was all a terrible trick, he had to give it one last chance. Not for Kylo, but for himself. 

His body was wound up from being around his mate, his instincts almost as out of control as his emotions. 

Hux knew that though there was no reason for him to strip down to his regulation underwear, and yet as he looked over Kylo curled up in bed already, he knew he didn’t want clothing between them.

They may have shared a bed over the days before the attack, but it had been impersonal, and the bed was big enough that they didn’t have to touch. Here, all they had was a little bunk with extra soft blankets. It was a tight fit, especially with Kylo’s wider figure, but Hux wanted it that way. 

He lied to himself that it made sense to dress down as it would be warm with them snuggled in close, but they had been running the ship on low energy and the air was nippy. 

Yet Hux still undressed beside the bed, pretending that he wasn’t trembling from the thought of spending another night with his omega beside him. 

The day had been spent caring for him, making sure his burns were seen to, and that he ate enough and stayed hydrated. When Hux had time to himself, he removed the corpses from the ship, and then afterwards he stayed with Kylo in bed and read through his reports. He managed to get through everything he had been sent before they’d been stranded, and worked on a speech for Kylo to give upon his return.

They could use this attack against the people who would do them harm. 

Now he was out of productive things to do, and all that was left before they were rescued was to wait one more night. Hux delayed no longer and climbed into bed beside Kylo for warmth, for the skin-to-skin contact. Kylo’s chest looked better from the treatments. Not yet fully healed, but no longer peeling and so angry looking where the skin had been burnt. 

Thoughts of Kylo’s progress with healing were fleeting though, even with the ache that was starting to set into his own body. He was mainly preoccupied with how close Kylo was to him. How after all this time he realized that Kylo smelled so good, and how even with the scar across his face he was still the most beautiful omega Hux had ever seen. Kylo bit his plush lower lip and slipped an arm around Hux’s waist. He was slow as he did it, as if asking permission. 

It was hard to remember why Hux had ever stopped kissing those lips.

He knew better than to give in, and yet he was the one who leaned forward. He was the one who licked out his tongue over Kylo’s bottom lip. 

It had been so long, too long, and still Kylo kissed him as Ben had all those years ago. It was like nothing had changed, and yet he knew everything had. This wasn’t his Ben, this was his Kylo. A different man, and yet still the same. 

His Ben had been more confident, taking control where Kylo was hesitant. The arm around his waist did tighten so that he was pulled closer, but it also left room for him to pull away if he wanted. He could feel Kylo’s feelings through their bond, strong enough that it leaked through where Hux had tried to block him out. Kylo loved him with the same bright love that Ben had. He could also feel hints of pain from the damage he had taken, and that was what made Hux slowly pull away. 

He could wait until Kylo was better, but he also couldn’t resist stealing one last kiss. 

Kylo was looking at him with his big brown eyes and he could see the questioning on his face.

“I will give you one more chance to prove that you mean all you have been saying. I am not as foolish as I was before. Make sure that you do not waste it.”

Kylo beamed at him, and he felt a burst of happiness through their bond. It was followed by discomfort as Kylo rolled onto his back, the movement disturbing his still-healing wounds.

“Only you would threaten me while in the same breath telling me you care for me.”

Hux sniffled, it was hard to look insulted when he was tucked up beside his omega. 

“I don’t remember saying I cared for you.”

“It was implied.”

/

The night cycle had felt much longer then it had been. Hux had hardly slept, distracted by his closeness to Kylo, but the careful peace between them kept Hux at Kylo’s side. Kylo was too sore to do much, but Hux had been happy to help him in any way he could, knowing that if it wasn’t a trick - that this could be his every morning.

He had felt Kylo’s and his own need combining within their bond. It was hard to resist, but he knew that Kylo needed heal up first. He had to be careful with him until he had proper medical attention. More than that Hux needed to be careful with himself. He still worried that their return to normal, everyday life aboard the starship would change the new tentative peace between them.

It made him worry that it was a mistake to give Kylo another chance when he didn’t know what he was returning to. 

It was almost disappointing that their rescue was on the way.

“They should be here soon.”

Kylo opened his eyes and held out a hand. Hux looked at it a moment, and then took it. His heart was pounding as he brought it up to his lips. He pressed one kiss to the back of Kylo’s hand, and then rolled it over so that he could scent his wrist. 

Hux hadn’t scented him in years, and it felt wrong to leave it like that for another moment. He didn’t want them to be picked up without everyone knowing that Kylo was his. 

“May I?”

Kylo gave a shaky nod. 

“Please.”

Hux pressed another kiss to Kylo’s wrist before moving upwards, carefully scenting along his inner forearm and leaving soft kisses in the bend of his elbow. He could feel Kylo shiver under him, and he understood the feeling. His bond had never been clearer, he felt a sense of belonging like he hadn’t in years. 

He lingered for a moment, flicking out his tongue against the skin until he heard a shaky breath from Kylo. He could feel desire humming in the back of the bond, and he moved up, kissing the strength in his mate’s biceps before moving up to his shoulder and his clavicles. 

Hux was careful, not wanting to put pressure on Kylo’s chest and further injure his broken ribs, but he managed to properly scent Kylo’s neck. When he moved to the other side, he saw the scar, long healed over. Hux kissed it first, and then he did what he had wanted to for years. He nipped the skin, remarking Kylo and claiming him again. 

He was terrified, and yet never surer about his choice. He could feel how much Kylo wanted him, just the hint of the feeling made his whole body ache. 

Hux politely ignored his own building erection, his alpha instincts wanted to claim Kylo fully, to mate with him again; but it was too soon. Hux wasn’t emotionally ready yet. 

He still finished the scenting the same way he had the few times he had gotten the chance to before: with a kiss to his mate’s lips. 

“How are you feeling?”

Hux could feel it despite the fact he asked. His own body echoed it. 

“Like I want you.” 

“Neither of us are in any condition for that.”

Hux softened his words by cupping Kylo’s cheek. 

The moment was broken as he heard the ship’s warning tone. Something nearby was picking up on the scanners. 

Hux crawled out of the bed and didn’t bother dressing right away. He needed to make sure the approaching ship was friendly. He hooked his pad back up to the main console and glanced at the results.

The panic that had been in the back of his mind since the crash finally calmed. It was a Star Destroyer, here to recover the missing Supreme Leader. 

After running another two scans to make triple-sure that it wasn’t a false reading, he fired up the engines again. He brought them up high enough to use the communications; he was only able to send out a message using text, but it was enough. 

While he waited for them to be pulled into the docking bay he rushed back to the bedroom, dressing himself into one of the faux uniforms that Kylo had made for him. It was a deep burgundy, which was not ideal, but better than his real uniform which was still covered in blood. 

He supposed it was fitting, though, for his first day as official consort.


	19. Chapter 19

If he had thought that things would return to how they were before he became Kylo Ren, he was quickly proven wrong. Hux stayed close, but didn’t touch him once as Kylo got his treatment. 

The only cold comfort was that the pain from his muscles was dampened under medication and although his ribs ached, he had gotten medication to encourage their healing. At least his body would heal.

When he had asked Hux to return with him to his quarters he felt the nerves through their bond, but Hux showed up. They had showered separately and then they had both tucked into his bed together. Hux scented him again after his shower, but it wasn’t as slow or warm as the last time. 

It wasn’t much, but it was a start. It was more than he honestly thought would realistically happen. His bed smelled like his mate, and his warm body was still tucked into his side in the morning. It was enough.

Hux’s hair was messy in the morning, something he had missed in the years they had been apart. Once Hux left his quarters he was always perfectly groomed, everything in order. Only in the morning did he ever get to see this softer, more disheveled side of Hux. It meant more to him than he wanted to admit. 

It helped that in his sleep Hux’s face was as soft as his hair; he almost looked like another person. Another person from another time, one where they had been good together. Kylo knew they would never be able to go back, but maybe they could find something new that was just as good.

There was work to do, but the universe could wait. He needed to soak in every little moment with Hux, he had years to make up for. 

He brushed away the hair that had fallen over Hux’s forehead and felt so lucky that he had gotten this close to him again. They had both hurt each other over the years, and the fact that they were able to put it in the past behind them meant a lot to him. 

Kylo would never be able to forget how Hux had looked with his hand on his weapon, ready to kill him while he lay half-dazed on the ground, but he also would never forget how Hux had looked as he grasped at his throat as he tried to get air. It was a terrible memory that would always remind him that he could never let things get that terrible again.

What he would also remember was that Hux had a chance to kill him again and instead of doing that, he had decided to tend to him instead, to make sure his burns were treated. 

He was glad that Hux now slept peacefully beside him, feeling safe enough from harm to trust him, and that he could trust Hux in return. It was how it should have been years ago, if Snoke hadn’t gotten in the way.

Hux’s eyelashes fluttered and he woke slowly, calm in the scent of his mate. 

“How are you feeling?”

It was the first thing Hux asked and his throat felt tight.

“Ribs are still sore, but I am feeling better, thanks to your care.”

Kylo paused for a moment, searching Hux’s face. 

“And you?” 

Hux sat up slowly, blinking as he took in the room.

“Like nothing even happened.”

Kylo sat up as well, letting the blankets fall around his hips so that his bare chest was showing. He wanted Hux to be the one to make the first move. Kylo needed to be sure that it was Hux’s choice after everything that had happened.

Hux’s lips parted slightly and his eyes dragged over him as if he was memorizing every inch of Kylo’s body. He leaned in and Kylo was frozen in his spot, not wanting to scare him away. 

Hux’s lips were soft against his own, and the kiss was followed by a hand resting on his pec. Hux didn’t deepen the kiss, but did press half a dozen smaller ones against Kylo’s lips before pulling back. His hand lingered though, his thumb caressing Kylo’s nipple. 

“May I return here tonight?”

Kylo shivered at the thought of Hux returning to his room every night. In his personal space, in his bed. Kylo wanted nothing more. 

His alpha’s scent in the bed was already so rewarding, and they hadn’t done more then kiss. If the want in the bond was anything to go by then Kylo was sure that it wouldn’t just be kisses for long. 

“You will always be welcome here.”

Kylo told Hux, never more sure of anything else in his whole life than he was of this.

/

If Kylo hadn’t been terribly busy, he would have been able to think of nothing more than the fact that he would be with Hux again that night. 

As it was, it was difficult to concentrate. It took hours to pour through the documents he had to sign, and even longer to go through battle plans. The worst of it was the search for those who had attacked his ship...the scans that Hux had taken were helpful, though. It was a resistance ship, augmented with Felder technologies until it was almost unrecognizable.

With the new treaty the Felder leaders were more than willing to help in the search. It made him feel good to know that this would be taken care of in due time. That those who would hurt his mate wouldn’t outlive them.

It was good news he sent to Hux, to make sure he sees it. He felt slightly frayed by the lack of response, but the bond soothed him. Hux was nervous as well, but he could also feel the same hope that was growing in him. 

Time moved so slowly when he was impatient, but the worst of it was that he couldn’t leave even when he knew Hux’s shift had ended. There was work to be done still, and after sending a quick message to Hux letting him know the reasons for his late return, he had to get back to it. It was hours before he was finally able to pull himself away, and he hoped that Hux would still be there waiting for him. 

The hallways were rather empty, it was between shift changes so no one got in his way as Kylo hurried to his quarters. Kylo stopped at his own door though, longing so deeply to see Hux inside that he didn’t want to open it in case he wasn’t there. He put his hand against the metal and reached out with both his bond and the force, half afraid that no one would be there. 

His hand was shaking when he sensed the life resting inside, and he dropped it from the door. He was so relieved that Hux had stayed, even though they weren’t sharing breakfast on some faraway world, Hux had decided to stay. 

Kylo opened the door without hesitation and kicked off his boots in the main hallway and started on his robes as he walked into the living room. Hux wasn’t there, and Kylo left behind his robes and his outer tunic. In the doorway of his bedroom he paused again.

His alpha was in his bed, buried deep in the blankets, undressed for sleep and already resting. Kylo didn’t want to wake him, so he continued undressing, no longer feeling the rush now that he could see that Hux was here. 

This time Kylo managed to get his clothing put away, only putting on a pair of soft silken pajama bottoms in case Hux got the wrong idea or felt pressured. He would earn his mate back, and as he watched Hux’s calm breathing he was sure of it.


	20. Chapter 20

Hux woke with the same contented feeling he had had growing inside him since he had begun to spend the nights with his mate. It was like the world had tilted and for the first time in years everything was right again. He could actually sleep through a night and his mind was sharper for it. His joints no longer ached from the lack of rest and yet he yearned for the comfort of bed as soon as he left it. 

The next time he would be able to lay next to his omega.

Even with all his misgivings, Kylo had surprised him, not once trying to force more than the chaste kisses they shared before bed. Hux could feel that it was hard for him though, that he yearned for more just as Hux himself did. The bond was still filtered, but what he felt he knew could not be faked. 

It was harder to deny him knowing that, but he had needed time to see if Kylo was playing him. During the time they worked together though, every time there was a chance to undermine him, to humiliate him...Kylo had only complimented him, and supported his plans. They worked together well, for once not competing with each other. Kylo still had that sarcastic manner about him, but he was no longer cruel with it. That had died a few days after Snoke.

Not only that but Kylo allowed himself to be scented, so that everyone would know that he was the Grand Marshal’s despite the fact that Hux never allowed it in return. It could be considered an insult, but Kylo accepted it with grace, without even a flare of the temper that used to make Hux’s stomach knot.

Kylo wasn’t Ben, and never would be again, but he was something special. As he started to grow into a new man without Snoke’s shadow poisoning him, Armitage had to admit that he wanted to watch that progress by Kylo’s side. 

It was why he invited Kylo back to his own quarters for once, to allow his scent to linger in it. There would be no going back...his bed would always be changed by the memory of having Kylo next to him instead of Ben. But he felt that maybe it was no longer a bad thing.

He found he was nervous, and he even changed into one of the outfits Kylo had custom made for him. He would admit they fit him well even without the padding on the shoulders that his regular uniform had, and he also had noticed how Kylo looked at him when he wore them. Although he felt it wasn’t appropriate on duty, he had no issue with wearing them in their private time. The sheer undershirt was indecent, but the only one who would see him in it was his mate, so he felt that maybe indecency wasn’t a bad thing.

Hux was nervous. His body had been wanting this for so long, he was almost rubbing himself raw every morning when he woke up with Kylo snuggled up to his side. Just the thought of what they might do tonight was making him hard. When Kylo got off duty, Hux moved to his low ice-blue couch and leaned back, trying to stretch out and look a little bigger, let his omega see him at his best. 

Time passed and he shifted positions, in the end picking up a pad so that he could work while he waited. He expected Kylo to come right away and it made his nerves jumpy to wait.

An hour passed and his back started to ache from the pose he was in, but he didn’t want to move again. He was sure that he looked the picture of nonchalant and he wasn’t about to ruin that. 

It was another half hour before his door rang and he managed to not jump up. He spread his legs to take up more room and set the pad down. 

“Come in.”

His breath caught in his throat as Kylo entered. He had changed since Hux saw him on the bridge. His hair was still wet and carefully combed, cascading over his shoulders. He was wearing something that looked more like a silk dressing robe than functional clothing. It wrapped around his waist, but most of his chest was bare. Hux could even see his wonderfully sculpted abs and belly button. There was something about seeing him looking so relaxed, there was an intimacy to seeing him like this. 

The fact that he changed meant that Kylo did this for him. That made Hux’s breath catch more than Kylo’s body every could.

“Welcome.”

Hux’s voice shook and he felt a little embarrassed having Kylo see his quarters. They had hardly changed since the first time Ben had been here.

“Thank you for inviting me.”

He could feel Kylo’s nerves, but also his curiosity. Kylo stepped into his space and started looking around his quarters. At first, Hux watched him, his omega picking up a small sculpture he had from his home planet. That was when he realised that Kylo was getting too close to something he hoped he wouldn’t see.

“Come sit by me.”

Kylo didn’t listen, his eyes having caught the framed paper that Hux had wished he had taken down.

“You kept it.”

Kylo pulled it off the wall, his fingers running over the glass that covered the note that Ben had written all those years ago. Hux had kept it in his drawer for years, but unfolding the paper and folding it again had worn on the note. He had it framed three years ago so that he could look at it when he needed to feel closer to Ben, without losing the last thread he had to his mate. 

Now he had Kylo right in front of him, looking like the most beautiful omega that Hux had ever laid eyes on reading the same note.

“I loved him.”

Kylo looked a little longer at the note before hanging it back up on the wall.

“I am still the same person. Snoke made everything in my head feel different, confusing, but I think I can still be who you want me to be.”

He sounded almost lost as he said it, and Hux ached for him. Ben has spent his life trying to be someone else for everyone: his parents, his uncle...and Snoke. 

Hux didn’t want to be on that list.

“Kylo, come here.”

Thankfully he came without hesitation, sitting next to Hux. He was close enough that Hux barely had to shift so that their thighs pressed together. 

“I don’t need you to change. I think I am rather fond of who Kylo is becoming, as well.”

“Yet you don’t want me.”

Kylo’s voice was so small, and it hurt Hux that he was the one who did that to him. 

Hux put his hand on Kylo’s thigh and leaned over to give him a soft kiss. Kylo didn’t move to do anything further, and Hux knew he would have to be the one to make the next move. When he pulled back, he let his hand slide up Kylo’s thigh.

“I do want you, I just needed to be sure of who you are.”

“And you’re sure?”

Kylo looked hopeful, and Hux stood. He offered him his hand and was relieved when Kylo took it. He didn’t want to change him into something different - he didn’t want a defeated Kylo Ren who had changed everything for him. He wanted to take his mate as he was, even if he wasn’t the same man that Hux had met. 

“I’m very sure.”

Hux led him to the bedroom, and then turned towards Kylo. He undid the front of his own outfit, letting Kylo see that his undershirt was sheer. He knew he wasn’t fit like Kylo, but he also saw how his eyes lit up, and the hunger on Kylo’s face.

Hux tilted his head up, and his omega kissed him with all the need that had been building up between them. Hux gave into it, nipping Kylo’s bottom lip. The kisses weren’t like the brief ones they had shared before sleep, knowing that it wouldn’t lead anywhere. 

He felt Kylo’s hands running over the thin shirt, pausing as he brushed over his nipples. The material was so thin he swore he could almost feel Kylo’s fingers against his skin. He moaned into the kiss as Kylo lightly pinched one of his nipples. He was already so hard and they had barely done anything yet.

Hux broke the kiss and was glad the light was still on so that he could see how plush and pink Kylo’s lips were, and how rosy his cheeks had become.

Hux’s hands were shaking as he undid his shirt, shrugging out of it so he was only in his trousers. Kylo did the same and Hux was thankful that Kylo’s robes were only wrapped around with a sash holding them closed. He was just in the thin leggings underneath that left nothing to the imagination. 

If it was possible, Kylo was more beautiful than Ben. His shoulders were so broad and his body was terribly fit. He was taller and more commanding. Hux wanted to get down on his knees and worship every inch of him. It made him dizzy to think that he could actually do that if he wanted,and that Kylo was really all his.

Hux could see that Kylo was already hard, and he was thankful he wasn’t the only one. At night he could sometimes smell the slick on Kylo, but this time he wasn’t going to stop. He was going to give into everything he wanted, everything they both wanted. 

Hux leaned in again, pressing kisses against his jaw, slowly moving down his neck until he was kissing to the faded bond mark on his neck. 

His omega gently wrapped his arms around him, rubbing circles in his back, a reassurance. 

Kylo was trembling slightly and Hux loved that he was the one who made the supreme leader shake like a leaf. He reached out and rubbed over his cock through his leggings, feeling it in his hands after all this time. He could feel that the cloth was damp when he ran his thumb over the tip. 

Hux wanted to undo the damage that Snoke did to their bond and he hoped this was the right thing to do. He didn’t shy away this time, biting into the scar and remarking Kylo. He felt their bond flare, and even after years of ignoring it, it felt as fresh as the day they first bonded. It reaffirmed his hopes; he could feel just how much Kylo cared for him. It was different than the shy, scared feeling of Ben. Kylo might be a little unsure of himself, but he wasn’t unsure about what he wanted. Kylo’s need for his mate was almost all Hux could feel, overwhelming him. He lapped at the mark to stop any bleeding, only pausing to kiss him.

He knew Kylo would be feeling the same from him, his fears and wants, even his thoughts. It was both terrifying and exhilarating being known so deeply. 

Hux had to close his eyes to block the world out so that it was only them. He gently moved downwards, kissing his collarbone and sucking a bruise into it. 

Kylo nipped him in return, a small mark, but he still seemed tentative. Hux was just glad to be marked again, he would wear his collar a little lower on his next shift.

He started moving his hands over the leggings, feeling Kylo in his hands. Hux needed less between them. 

“Let me get you out of that”, Hux murmured against his neck.

Hux dug his fingers under Kylo’s waistband and tugged it down until his erection slipped free. His hands moved back up, circling his fingers around his cock. He kept kissing down Kylo’s body, even as he started to gently stroke him, licking over one of his nipples and taking it between his lips. He rolled it between his teeth and flicked his tongue over the nub. 

He used the bond and the strong scent of slick between Kylo’s legs as a guide, letting him take Kylo apart. 

Kylo emitted a soft little gasp and Hux knew it was time to move on. He was stuck between wanting this to last forever and desperately needing to be inside Kylo, knotting him again. He wasn’t alone in those feeling, Kylo was almost projecting the image into his mind through their bond. 

He moved down to Kylo’s perfectly formed abs, rubbing his face against him and scenting him, before finally meeting his hands wrapped around Kylo’s cock. 

He flicked his tongue out, licking over the tip and Kylo’s hands became painful in his hair. 

“Fuck, Armitage.”

His first name sounded so good on Kylo’s lips, and it only encouraged him to take the head of his cock in his mouth. Some people would consider it below them to please an omega like this, but Hux couldn’t imagine not wanting to make Kylo feel as good as he could. He loved the taste of him, and the feel, and the pleasure singing through the bond. 

He kept bobbing his head, swirling his tongue around the head as he pulled off and then sliding down until it filled his mouth, still the perfect size. 

When he felt Kylo’s orgasm building through the bond he regretfully pulled back, letting it slip through his lips. 

Kylo was looking down at him, his big brown eyes opened wide. 

“On the bed Armitage.” 

Kylo’s voice was steady compared to earlier, even if his body was still trembling.

“Is that an order, Supreme Leader?”

Hux smiled up at him, letting Kylo’s cock rest against his lips. He wanted Kylo to see him like this, his alpha on his knees for him. 

“It’s a request.”

Hux shivered at the words and stood, slipping out of his trousers and underwear as he took himself to the bed. He sat against the headboard, watching Kylo kick out of his leggings and close the distance between them. Kylo straddled his lap and Hux could feel the slick wet on his cheeks. 

It was all for him, all the beauty and danger of Kylo Ren just for him.

“You’re perfect.”

Hux gasped out, almost unable to believe that this wasn’t a trick. 

“Are you on suppressants?”

Kylo shook his head.

“I trust in the force.”

Hux almost wanted to laugh at the thought of leaving their family planning up to the force, but after all that they had been through he trusted in Kylo. If something happened they could take it together. And that was enough. 

He didn’t have to ask Kylo if he was ready, or if he was sure; he could feel it in their bond. The same steady need, the confidence that this was the right choice. 

Kylo reached one hand behind himself and angled Hux’s cock so that it rubbed over his slick hole, and he leaned forward so that their lips ghosted against each other. Hux ran his hands over his sides, taking in all the changes that had happened to his body, the muscle and the scars. He wasn’t sure he would ever get used to how beautiful he was. 

“Tell me.”

Hux could hardly think as Kylo started to sink down onto him, but he managed to obey. The words tumbled out.

“So handsome, and so good just for me. All mine.”

Kylo let out a little moan against Hux’s lips, slowly letting Hux fill him. He was so tight and wet, and Hux could hardly think to continue speaking. He could feel the ache in Kylo’s body, but he could also feel how much he wanted it. 

“Wet, willing, just how I wanted you.”

Kylo started to move over him, and Hux brought his hips up so that he met him each time Kylo settled back into his lap. His knot was already swelling and he felt like the first time, out of control in his need to claim Kylo. 

“So perfect, so beautiful like this.”

 

He wanted to fill his omega, over and over again, wanted to keep hearing those little moans that he let out, and how his breath was shaky. 

“Strong.”

Hux’s words were almost as shaky as Kylo’s breath, all he could do was try and hold on as Kylo sunk back onto him again. He was so close, but he could feel that he wasn’t the only one. His knot was swelling and Kylo could hardly get it all inside of him. 

The words and his cock were making Kylo lose himself, and he knew it would only take a little to push him over the edge.

“Brilliant, dangerous, mine.”

Kylo tensed around him and he felt the orgasm wash over him, pulling him over the edge with him. He experienced it from both sides: how it felt so full inside of Kylo as he came inside him and how tight Kylo was as he tensed around his knot. It was a dizzying moment.

They stayed like that a minute, their lips touching and yet not kissing and then slowly they were. 

Kylo’s tongue was in his mouth demanding he give him passage, and Hux wanted nothing more than to give in. An omega who still fit him, a treasure, even through all the years and torments they had survived. He never wanted to let go again.


	21. Chapter 21

It had been seven months since Hux had become his official consort. Hux’s wedding gift had been the heads of the Felder who had betrayed them. Kylo’s gift had been the promise of an heir to the Hux name. 

She was now a month old, their heir was still small, her tiny hand wrapped around just one of Hux’s long fingers. He had scented them both this morning and the room smelt wonderful. It smelled like family. Something Kylo never thought he would ever have again, not really anyway.

It had taken a while before things fully smoothed out between them, the bond helped, it kept things clear between them. It gave him a chance to show Hux how sorry he was, and allowed them to work through it. There was no hiding between the brilliance of their bond and over time trust had built up between them. Sometimes it was distracting in all the best ways.

This was meant to be a strategy meeting between the heads of the First Order, yet they hadn’t spoken about anything other than their daughter. 

“I still think Ava is a perfectly acceptable name. Ava Hux.”

Kylo smiled into his hand, watching his mate doting on their daughter. She was still only known as the daughter of the First Order to the public. In private, they affectionately called her little bean.

Kylo didn’t mind the long arguments over names though, they never held any anger, and it was a reminder of the time of peace they now resided in. Their lunch was often spent squabbling over who had found a better name.

“I like Evelyn Hux better.”

Hux looked up at him and frowned slightly.

“Not bad. Perhaps we could call her Evie for short.”

It was almost an agreement and Kylo had to bite his lip to keep from grinning.

“Only us, though. That couldn’t get out.”

Hux looked up from their daughter and smiled at him, holding all the warmth of a sun. It may have been almost a year since they reunited, and yet his chest always felt like it was going to burst when Hux opened up to him.

“No, it wouldn’t be proper, would it?”

Kylo tilted his head and stood, walking down the steps from his throne until he stood in front of Hux, his fingers brushing through the red fluff on their daughter's head.

“When have we been known to do anything proper?”

Hux laughed and Kylo felt pride that he could make his mate laugh so freely.

The galaxy was at their feet, and the peace that came from the rule of the First Order was all Kylo could have hoped for.

It gave him time to find confidence in the skills that Snoke had undermined: his ability with the force, and his strategic mind. Despite any worries he may have had, Hux only loved him more as he grew into who he was actually meant to be.

No longer little Ben Solo, and no longer Kylo Ren.

There wasn’t the same fear or anger, he was confident in who he was, in what he wanted. As he looked at his mate and daughter he knew that he already had it. There were no more shadows on their bond, or his own mind, Kylo could be the person who he decided to be.

 

That person was Supreme Leader Kylo Hux.

**Author's Note:**

> The two final chapters just need to be edited, I am on vacation for two weeks so they will be posted upon my return! thank you for waiting! Tags will be added as they become relevant.


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